


Steeling the Past - Part 2

by NorahBolt56



Series: Steeling the Past [3]
Category: Remington Steele (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-22 02:39:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11957997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorahBolt56/pseuds/NorahBolt56
Summary: This is the second part of the 'Steeling the Past' series which focuses on Mr Steele before he became Remington Steele (and provides a back story to 'Steele Stringed Hearts'. This part picks up where Part 1 left off ie. after Harry has left Kate, and explores the different paths their lives take.





	1. Chapter 1

Once they were on the ferry on their way across the English Channel to France, Harry excused himself and went for a walk on deck. A little worried about the young man, Daniel went looking for him after a while.  He found him leaning on the railing, staring out to sea, a brooding look on his handsome face. He had taken the tie off he noticed (Daniel didn’t think it would last long!) and had undone a few of the shirt buttons and slung the suit jacket over his shoulder. Lost in his troubled thoughts he didn’t even notice the admiring glances that the female passengers gave him as they walked past, wondering who this gorgeous young man with the newly cut black hair and piercing blue eyes was, who looked like he’d just stepped out of the pages of a magazine. Daniel noticed the looks he was getting though and couldn’t help smiling – the combination of the boy’s looks & natural charm would serve him well as a con-artist, especially when it came to conning rich women. He suspected though that his young protégé had only one young woman on his mind at the moment – the one he had left behind in London with nothing more than a note. He knew it wouldn’t do either of them any good for Harry to dwell on her – oh no, he had grand plans for his protege and emotional attachments would only complicate things. With that thought in mind he came & stood next to him at the railing.

“You did the right thing Harry,” he reassured him. Broken out of his reverie, Harry looked at him.

“What? Left her with just a note? Somehow I don’t think Kate would agree with you on that point Daniel,” he replied as he shook his head, a wave of guilt & regret washing over him.

“Yes well when did young Miss O’Casey and I ever agree on anything?” Daniel remarked with a wry laugh. Harry however wasn’t laughing.

“Harry, I know she was your first love but let me assure you my boy she won’t be your last. You’re so wrapped up thinking about her you haven’t even noticed the looks you’ve been getting from all the women on this ferry,” Daniel pointed out. “Harry, take it from me – it doesn’t do to get caught up in emotional attachments, especially not in our line of work, when we may have to cut and run rather quickly at times. You don’t want to be tying yourself down to just one girl, especially at your age. You’re young – you should go out and have some fun. I can assure you there’ll be more young ladies and even some older ones I suspect, that you can imagine, lining up to help you forget her,” he went on trying to convince him.

When Harry’s expression didn’t change Daniel thought he’d try a different tack. “Do you really think she’s going to pine after you for too long? Oh I’m sure she’ll be upset for a time but when that fame & fortune start rolling in for her, as I’m sure it will, you can rest assured there’ll be men flocking to her – she’ll have her pick of them. Rock stars, celebrities..” Daniel threw at him.

Now that got a reaction he thought, as he observed the jealous, angry look that momentarily crossed Harry’s face. “Trust me Harry, you’re better off without her. You don’t belong in her world and she doesn’t belong in yours,” Daniel stated firmly, hoping he’d convinced him. “Anyway, just think about what I said my boy.” Harry nodded half-heartedly as Daniel left him to his thoughts.

Harry absently pulled his passport out of his pocket and looked at it. He hardly recognised the short haired young man in the suit and tie in the photo. ‘ _Michael O’Leary’_ – he looked at the name on the passport as a wry expression crossed his face. New look, new name, new life sport, he thought to himself. When Daniel’s associate had asked him what name he wanted on the document he had picked the name of a character Bogart had played in a movie – in fact the last movie he’d watched with Kate. Seeing as he still had quite an Irish brogue as well, the name seemed to fit, even if Daniel had told him he would always be Harry to him. And he knew he would always be Harry to someone else…

The more he thought about it though, the more he thought Daniel was probably right. If this is how love made you feel well you can have it, he thought. He felt sick to his stomach that he had probably broken Kate’s heart and he vowed that he would never risk doing that to another woman again and never allow another one into his heart.

A vow he managed to keep until another spirited brunette stole his heart away, Remington thought wryly to himself as his thoughts briefly returned to the present. He knew he had left more than Kate behind in London – he had left a piece of his heart too. A piece that was missing throughout all the subsequent flings and even longer relationships (if you could call them that) he had until the day he walked through the door of the Remington Steele detective agency.  A piece that Laura had helped him find again.

He thought back briefly to some of the other women he had been involved with over the years. There had been countless numbers of them but one or two had held his interest, if not his heart, for a time. Felicia for example, had been his partner in crime as well as his bed for a while, the two of them working together on several art heists like ‘The Five Nudes of Cairo’. Though she played it cool most of the time, as if their relationship was just one of convenience for her, he got the impression she wanted more from him than he was prepared to give. So he moved on from her eventually, as he always did when they started to get too close or too demanding, not willing to risk his heart again. Anna had got close, he reflected. She had reminded him of Felicia in some ways but was different in others.  He had started to let some of his walls down and was prepared to go away with her but then his world had been shattered when he’d found out she’d drowned (or so he thought) and that she had also been married, reaffirming his belief that emotional attachments were too painful and too risky. And then when she had reappeared in his life years later he discovered that she never had any true feelings for him, rather she was only interested in what he could do for her. She had well & truly played him and if not for Laura he probably never would have realised or realised too late.

As his thoughts turned to Laura as they always inevitably did, he wondered at what exact moment she had captured his closely guarded heart. Perhaps the moment not long after first entering her life, when he’d bought her a magnum of champagne and they’d had their first real conversation, their exchange he remembered, being charged with sexual tension. Or a few days after that, when her anger at him assuming Remington Steele’s identity had threatened to boil over and he had held her angry, struggling body, clad in that delectable red dress as he remembered,  firmly against his as they danced. Or when they had shared their first kiss on a pier posing as a couple during another early case. Or when sometime later they shared a much more passionate kiss that had taken his breath away, in none other than a monastery wine cellar, when he had caught a glimpse of the uninhibited, impetuous Laura that she kept so well hidden. Or when upon seeing his anger & distress at losing a good friend she had offered to help him bring his friend Wallace’s killer to justice. He couldn’t pinpoint one moment, he realised there had been too many of them that had slowly but steadily chipped away at the walls he had built around his heart.  Try as he might he had been powerless to stop it. He had initially dismissed his feeling s for her as just physical but he knew it went much deeper than that. He was attracted to the whole package that was Laura Holt – body, mind, heart & soul.

Over the time they had worked together they had also become friends – something he hadn’t had with a woman since Kate. He knew, as it had been with his first love, that that friendship had laid the foundation for something much deeper. Where exactly they stood now after that ridiculous agreement they’d made in Cannes he didn’t really know. As well as their physical closeness he found himself also missing the emotional closeness they had had. Now it just seemed their relationship was purely professional – although he knew he wanted it to be much, much more.

He had thought of Kate now and again over the years of course. In the months after he’d left her he’d thought of her often, despite following Daniel’s advice and going through a string of women in an effort to forget her. Over the years, while many of them had stirred his loins, none of them had stirred his heart like Kate had, until Laura. When Kate’s music started hitting the charts he found it harder to avoid reminders of her. He lost track of how many times he had turned off the radio when one of KK and the Beat’s songs came on, or turned off the telly when her face came on in a music video or an interview. He remembered once walking out of a bar leaving an unfinished drink and a perplexed woman when one of her songs, ‘Blue Eyed Boy’ started playing, which he had a sneaking suspicion was about him. As the years wore on, he heard less of her but he still sometimes found his thoughts going back to her. Whenever he found the need to wear the diamond earring she’d given him, in order to play a certain ‘role’, or whenever he heard an Irish accent for instance. He deliberately avoided involvements with Irish women, knowing they would only remind him of her. In a particularly nostalgic moment during the time he spent boxing in South America with Barney Keirnan, when Barney had asked him wanted his ’boxing name’ to be, he had come up with the name ‘The Kilkenny Kid’, a nickname he had sometimes called Kate, particularly after he’d seen how she fought.  On the rare nights he wasn’t sharing his bed with a woman he sometimes found his thoughts going back to Kate and the nights they had spent in each other’s arms, discovering love and each other.

He wondered if she’d found love again, perhaps she’d married and had children? Oddly enough for a celebrity she didn’t appear much in the tabloids so there was not much published about her private life, but he knew Kate had never been in it for the fame, only for the music. He’d heard somewhere that she still lived in London – he presumed in a much nicer part than Brixton, so whenever he was in London he carefully avoided the more well to do areas when he could. He didn’t want to risk bumping into her. He hardly thought she’d be happy to see him in the unlikely event that happened, and it probably wouldn’t be good for her image if their past relationship came out – a famous rock star involved with a thief and con-artist, he thought ruefully to himself. Daniel had been right – they didn’t belong in each other’s worlds anymore..


	2. Chapter 2

Kate awoke the next morning and stretched before she opened her eyes, expecting to find Harry’s long, lean body in the bed next to her. As a smile crossed her face she remembered the night before and wondered if Harry would be interested in picking up where they left off. Silly thought, she laughed to herself knowing him as she did, of course he would. With that thought in mind she went to reach for him but only found empty space next to her. She opened her eyes, a little puzzled.

”Harry?” she called thinking he might be in the bathroom. When there was no answer she got up and checked the bathroom to find it empty & then noticed his clothes were gone. Maybe he’s gone to get some breakfast for us she wondered, thinking it would be good if he had as she realised she was starving after their rather ‘active’ night.

She then saw a folded piece of paper lying on his pillow which she hadn’t noticed before. She picked it up and began reading:

_Dear Katie,_

_This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write. I don’t really know how to say this but I’ve decided to go to Europe with Daniel. I think it’s for the best really – I think we both know our lives just seem to be moving in two different directions and I don’t want to hold you back from becoming the star I know you’re destined to be. I’ll never forget you and the time we had together. I’m sorry._

_Love,_

_Harry_

Kate’s hands started to tremble as she read it. ”No.. this must be a joke. He can’t have left me,” she thought desperately to herself as a lump came to her throat. Not after last night, as she thought back to how they had made love, their love & desire for each other stronger than ever or so she had thought. How could he do this to me? she despaired as she fought back her tears, but then a wave of anger welled up inside her as she quickly got dressed. “Like hell you’re leaving me Harry,” she muttered furiously as she grabbed her purse & keys then hurried downstairs and hailed a cab to Daniel’s place, slipping the driver a tenner to hurry.

 When she got there she ran up the stairs two at a time and banged on the door of Daniel’s flat. “Harry!” she yelled, then out of desperation yelled “Daniel!” as she thumped even harder on the door. Silence was the only reply. She fished a bobby pin out of her hair and expertly picked the lock just like Harry had shown her how to do.  Apart from the furniture, the place was empty. She ran into Harry’s room and flung open the closet to find it bare. She then angrily pulled out all his bedside drawers to find them empty as well. And then it finally hit her – she was too late, he was gone. Left her with just a note. Harry, the love of her young life, was gone…

 She sunk down on the bed, the bed they had first made love in, where he had looked her in the eyes and told her he loved her. Her tears finally started to flow and soon turned into sobs that wracked her body as she looked around the room that felt as empty as her broken heart.

Kate didn’t know how long she sat there for, frozen in place in a state of shock, not wanting to believe it was true. She eventually realised she needed to go. She left Daniel’s place & wandered aimlessly through the streets, a maelstrom of emotions and memories whirling inside her. She realised that subconsciously perhaps she had ventured near some of their old haunts, in the vain hope that he’d changed his mind and she’d find him there with that familiar lopsided grin of his and his blue eyes twinkling at her.

Instead she found his friend Chalkie. “Hey Kate – how’s it going?” he greeted her, a little surprised to see her without Harry. With that Kate grabbed him by the shirt and even though he was on the scrawny side he was still bigger than her, so he was surprised at the strength she showed when she slammed him against a wall, her fury and hurt overwhelming her.

“Where is he Chalkie? Where’s Harry? Did he tell you where he was going?” she demanded angrily as he looked at her in shock and he had to admit, a little fear, at the look on her face.  He knew she had a temper but he’d never seen her like this before.

“What do you mean where’s Harry? How should I know? I swear Kate I don’t know nuffin’ about where he’s gone,” he replied hurriedly as he put his hands up to pacify her. She looked like she was going to hit him. 

With that Kate relaxed her grip and let him go, realising it was wrong to take her anger out on him. “Sorry Chalkie,” she apologised, running a hand through her hair in an attempt to calm herself down a bit. “I just … woke up this morning to find him gone. Left me a note saying he was going to Europe with Daniel Chalmers,” she practically spat his name.

Hmm, maybe this could work in my favour, Chalkie thought to himself. He’d always fancied Kate but she’d only ever had eyes for Harry but now with Harry gone I might be in with a shot, he thought to himself.

“Oh well.. sorry to hear that Kate,” he stated, although he wasn’t really. “Maybe I can help you take your mind off him?” as he winked at her but then immediately regretted it as Kate regarded him with a cold, hard stare.

“Why you opportunistic little bugger!” she stated in disgust. “I can’t believe you would even suggest that – I thought you were Harry’s mate! Forget it Chalkie – you’re really not my type!’ she threw at him as she shook her head & stormed off.

“I gather that’s a no then?” Chalkie called after her as she kept on walking immersed in her troubled thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate awoke to the phone ringing insistently next to her bed. Groggily she reached over to answer it – she had felt so tired this past week, more so than she’d ever done before. But she just put it down to trying to come to terms with the fact that Harry had left her - she felt emotionally as well as physically drained.

“Hello..?” she said sleepily into the receiver.

“Kate, Miles here,” her manager/record producer greeted her. “Ah wondered if you were coming into the studio today? Everyone’s here waiting for you,” he said, his tone serious. He knew she had been devastated when her boyfriend had left her a couple of weeks ago but he had an album to produce, and he needed her on her game. He’d thought focusing on the album would distract her a bit from her heartache but maybe not. It wasn’t like Kate to be late and keep people waiting, he reflected.

Kate looked at her bedside clock and realised she had slept through her alarm and that it was almost ten o’clock. “Oh Miles I’m so sorry – I must have slept through my alarm. I’m so tired these days – I don’t know why. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she apologised.

She quickly jumped in the shower to wake herself up a bit, admonishing herself as she did so. “C’mon O’Casey you’ve got to get your act together. You’ve got to face facts – he’s gone, he’s not coming back. You’ve got to get on with your life,” her head told her but convincing her heart was another story. The two weeks since that awful morning she’d awoken to find him gone had been the longest and hardest two weeks of her life. She felt like she was in a bad dream and she silently prayed every night that she would wake up to find herself in his arms, his gorgeous blue eyes twinkling at her.  But instead she had woken to the same nightmare every morning – facing another day without him.

She’d tried to put on a brave face as she went through the paces of daily life and tried to concentrate on recording the band’s debut album. She’d thrown herself into writing songs, finding that the only outlet she had for her powerful emotions. But more than once when she’d gone to record them she’d found herself choking up, the raw emotion in the lyrics overwhelming her.  Miles had been very patient with her but she knew even his patience wasn’t endless. With that thought in mind she raced over to the studio.

“Sorry guys,’ she apologised to Miles, the other band members and the sound engineers.  Miles observed her as they started recording but he could tell her heart wasn’t in it. After an hour or so he called a halt to the session. “How about we all take a break for a while,” he suggested. “Kate – a word please,”  he motioned to her to follow him into his office. She followed him with a bit of trepidation wondering if he’d had enough and was about to tear up her contract.

He motioned for her to sit down as he closed the door behind them, before sitting down at his desk opposite her.

“Kate, I’m worried about you,” he stated frankly but in a gentle tone. He knew his young protégé had been through a lot recently.

“Miles I’m sorry – I’ll do better I promise, just give me a chance,” she replied as he put a hand up to stop her.

“Relax – I’m not about to rip up your recording contract or anything like that. I see great potential in you Kate, and the band. KK and the Beat have got a bright future ahead of them I think, all going well.” He then motioned to the array of gold records from other artists he had produced & managed that adorned his office walls. “I think one day you could have one of those too,” he stated with a smile which she returned. “That day I heard you busking I knew I’d found something special that I wanted to help nurture, so you could achieve your dreams.”

At that she looked grateful but also a little downcast and he knew one of her dreams had been shattered. “Look I know you’ve just had your heart broken and that’s going to take a while for you to get over – but as far as the album goes, your heart doesn’t seem to be in it anymore,” Miles added as he gave her a knowing look. Kate hesitated then nodded, knowing it was true. Truth be told, she felt like her heart had been ripped out.

“You’re right Miles. I don’t feel like my heart’s in it anymore either. Everything just feels so pointless without…him.”  She couldn’t even bring herself to say his name. At this Miles sighed, sensing she was a critical point – the decision she made now could either make or break her career. “Miles I appreciate the break you’ve given me but I don’t know if a music career is what I want any more,” she stated honestly.

“Well what do you want Kate? Besides a guy who broke your heart and walked out on you?” he challenged her, knowing she was too good, had too much talent, for her to just give up like this.

“I…don’t know,” she confessed quietly.

Miles looked at her intently. “I think you do Kate – what you’ve always wanted to do – make music. It’s in your blood – I can tell a true artist like you isn’t in it for the fame or the fortune, you’re in it for the music. And you can try and deny it all you like but you know as well as I do that you won’t be happy unless you’re making music,” he stated adamantly. “I’ll be honest with you Kate – it’s in my best interests to see you succeed but I want to help you do that for you too. I know you’ve lost one dream but maybe I can help you hold onto the other one,” he said with an understanding smile as she nodded, realising he was right. And without Harry, music’s all I’ve got, she thought to herself.

“You’re right ,” she agreed as a relieved smile crossed his face. “That’s my girl,” Miles replied as he got up & hugged her. “I know he was your first love sweetheart but something tells me he won’t be your last. You’re young – you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it moping over some guy who was stupid enough to leave you – I never thought he was right for you any way.” At the look she suddenly  gave him Miles put his hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry but I call it like I see it Kate – he would never have fit into this world. I guess I should be thankful to him in a way though,” he added.

“Why is that?” Kate asked puzzled. “Well you probably don’t want to hear this, but these songs you’ve written these past two weeks , pouring out your broken heart, are gold kiddo, pure gold!” he stated as he put an encouraging arm around her.

“Look I’m having a little party at my place tonight – why don’t you come along? Get you out of the house for a while. You need a bit of fun girl,” he encouraged her.

“Oh I don’t know Miles,” she went to protest but he cut her off.

“No I won’t take no for an answer – you’re coming and that’s final,” Miles stated firmly.

“Okay, okay I’ll come,” Kate relented.

“Good. Now let’s get back to recording shall we?” he said as she nodded and they headed back to the studio.

***************************************

At Miles’s party that night Kate was sitting in a corner nursing a drink, trying but failing miserably to get herself into a party mood, despite the crowd & music around her. Lost in her thoughts & memories of Harry, she didn’t notice at first as Johnny Cole come up and sit down next to her on the lounge.

“Well if isn’t KK,” he greeted her, flashing her a smile. He had to admit she intrigued him a bit – he’d tried coming onto her a month or so ago at some music industry function they’d both attended but she’d turned him down flat, telling him she had a boyfriend. That had surprised him somewhat – being the heart throb rock star he was, Johnny Cole wasn’t used to being turned down. He’d heard her boyfriend had left her a couple of weeks ago so he thought to himself, this was the perfect opportunity for him to have another crack. She’d probably feeling lonely, needs a bit of cheering up and I know just the way to do it, he thought to himself.

“Oh hi Johnny, “  she greeted him , momentarily brought back to the present. “And you can call me Kate,” she added, trying to be polite.

“Well Kate it is then – or can I call you Katie?” Johnny said as he leant a bit closer to her.

Kate shook her head – there was only one guy she would ever let call her Katie and he was gone she reminded herself. She wasn’t his “Katie” any more, she realised.  “No  - Kate will do just fine,” she stated firmly, forcing a smile onto her face. 

Johnny fished a joint out of his pocket and lit it as he leaned back on the lounge, offering it to her.

Kate shook her head. ”No thanks –I’m not really into all that,” she declined the offer as he looked a little surprised.

“Suit yourself,” he replied as he took a long drag on it. “So.. ah.. I heard your boyfriend split on you? Bummer huh?” he stated as a rueful look crossed her face.

“Yeah bummer,” she agreed, thinking to herself what an understatement. “Good news travels fast I see,” she added a little bitterly.

“Well good news for me,” he stated as he flashed her what she gathered he thought was a sexy smile, but all she could think was that it wasn’t a patch on Harry’s. A little part of her brain though started to think, what the hell O’Casey, maybe this is what you need to forget about Harry. This guy’s obviously interested and he’s not bad looking – you could do worse. “As I told you before Kate, a girl like you needs a real man – not a boy like him,” he stated, looking at her intently, as he draped an arm across her shoulders.

“Oh is that so?” she replied.

He nodded and whispered in her ear “You know it baby. Let me just say I’ve never had any complaints,” as he winked at her. “How about we get some fresh air outside? It’s too crowded in here ,” he suggested as he gave her a meaningful look and he pushed a stray hair off her face. Kate pushed away the memory that instantly sprung to mind of when Harry used to do that, his blue eyes twinkling at her. She shut her eyes for a moment to push away the memory and the pain. Then she made her mind up – she didn’t know if it was in an effort to forget him or to get back at him, or perhaps both,  but she turned to Johnny with a smile and said “Sure – why not?”

With a grin, he grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd to the garden out the back of Miles’s house. He found a bench seat in a secluded little spot where they both sat down. “You know I think we’d be good together, you and me Kate. Can you imagine? The press would have a field day!” he laughed as Kate started to think a little was he interested in her or just a bit of publicity? Who cares? the little voice in her head tried to convince her.

“Yeah I guess they would,” she replied. With that he turned her head to face him and planted his lips on hers, softly at first but quickly becoming more demanding. Kate tried to respond to him but it just didn’t feel right – she felt.. nothing. So different to how she had felt everytime Harry had kissed her.  She again tried to push the memories away, trying to enjoy it, but when Johnny’s hands started to wander she knew she had to stop him. She pulled away as he looked at her with a mix of surprise and a little bit of anger.

“What’s up?” he demanded.

“I’m sorry Johnny – I can’t do this. It’s not you.. it’s me,” she tried to explain but he was undeterred. No woman was immune to the ole Johnny Cole charm, he thought to himself. He went to grab her again and pull her to him.

“C’mon baby, trust me  - all you need is a good shag to forget him and I’m more than willing to give it to you,” he murmured.

“Well you may be but I’m not,” Kate retorted firmly as she pushed him away from her, then got up and went to storm back inside.

“You don’t know what you’re missing Kate!” he yelled after her, his ego wounded as she turned around and regarded him with a cool, hard stare.

“Oh trust me I do – and it’s not you,” she threw at him as she disappeared inside.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kate didn’t show up at the recording studio one morning a couple of weeks later and Miles couldn’t get hold of her on the phone, he went over to her bedsitter flat. He knew she hadn’t been feeling well all week, some sort of stomach bug she’d told him, and he was worried that she may have become seriously ill and needed help. He’d lost count of the number of times she’d had to rush off to the bathroom whilst trying to record songs for her album that week. But ever the trooper she would return sometime later, looking pale & washed out but assuring them she was okay, and get on with recording again until the nausea hit her once more. Miles had suggested she take a couple of days off but she had insisted she was okay. Obviously not, he thought to himself as he climbed the stairs to her flat.

“Kate?” he called as he knocked on the door. When there was no answer he knocked again, a bit louder. He wasn’t sure but he thought he’s heard a muffled sound.. crying, he thought? Wondering if she was alright he fished out the spare key he had to the flat and opened the door. “Kate?” he called with more than a bit of concern. He heard the muffled sobs again and followed the sound. He found her in the bathroom, sitting on the tiled floor, hugging her knees to herself, sobs wracking her body.

“Kate.. are you alright? What’s wrong? Are you ill?” He knew she’d been upset when her boyfriend Harry had left her almost a month ago but he thought she’d been getting over that, or at least she had seemed to be, throwing herself into making music in an effort to heal her broken heart, or at least distract herself from it. But maybe she wasn’t coping as well as he’d thought as she looked absolutely distraught. He forgot sometimes how young she still was, only seventeen, & she had been through quite a bit in her young life.

Kate shook her head as she looked at him through tear filled eyes. “No Miles I’m not ill,” she replied. She hesitated then added, her voice cracking as she did so, “I think I’m pregnant.”

Miles looked at her in shock but then when he thought about it he had suspected that that may have been the reason for her nausea, which had been particularly worse in the morning, although he’d tried not to think of that possibility. “Oh Kate,” he sighed. “Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure - I’m a couple of weeks late and I’m usually fairly regular,” she replied with a bit of embarrassment, “and with the nausea and everything. Oh Miles I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Miles asked, somewhat perplexed.

“Well the timing’s pretty lousy – how am I going to promote the album or tour if I’m pregnant?” she said with a sob. Just when things were finally happening for her, this happens, she thought desperately to herself. And she was alone – Harry, the father of her child having left her, and she had no idea where he was other than Europe somewhere.

“Oh Miles – what am I going to do? Harry’s gone – I have no idea where he is. I haven’t got any family or anything.” She burst into tears again as Miles felt an almost fatherly surge of protectiveness towards her. “You’ve got me kiddo,” he said with a smile as he gave her a warm hug. “Don’t worry we’ll figure something out,” he reassured her. “First of all how about we confirm if you are expecting or not. How about we go to my doctor and get some tests done hey? And then if you are .. well then I guess you’ve got some decisions to make,” he said seriously as she nodded, trying to compose herself.

“I’m not getting rid of the baby – I couldn’t do that. I want to keep him or her Miles,” she stated adamantly.

Miles looked at her. “Are you sure Kate? That’s not going to be easy for you. What about your career?”

Kate returned his intent gaze with one of her own, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “It’s all I’ve got left of him Miles,” she stated, in reference to Harry. “And I won’t have our child being adopted out or ending up in the system, never knowing their real parents or where they came from. I’ll do whatever I’ve got to do to make it work Miles,” she tried to explain.

“I just don’t know how this happened.” Miles gave her a meaningful look. “Well I know how it happened,” she corrected her statement as she blushed a little. “I meant we always tried to be careful. I guess not careful enough,” she stated somewhat ruefully…


	5. Chapter 5

_Six months later.._

“Harry?” Daniel called as he let himself into the villa in the south of France that they had been calling home for the past few months. It was one of Daniel’s favourite places in the world and he thought his now 19 year old protégé had been learning to love it just as much as he did. He had certainly been availing himself of the local attractions and more than a few of the local women since their arrival, and he had been spending so much time in the sun that his previously somewhat pale complexion was developing into a healthy tan, Daniel had observed. Daniel had also noted with a degree of both pride and amusement the young (and some not so young!) French girls admiring the young man’s tanned, lean physique, especially when he chose to go shirtless under the hot summer sun of the French Riviera. Daniel was also glad Harry had been taking advantage of their obvious interest, as he felt that every girl the young man took up with was another one that would take him further away from his memories of the girl he had left behind in London. A girl Daniel had feared had had a fairly good chance of taking Harry away from him.

In the last week or so though, Daniel had begun to notice something of a change in his young protégé’s behaviour. Instead of hitting the beach during the day or the local bars at night he’d been preferring to stay in the villa, rarely emerging from his bedroom. On the odd occasion when he had ventured out he had only gone to buy liquor, the amount he was drinking concerning Daniel somewhat. When Daniel had tried to broach the subject Harry had shut him down, refusing to talk about the reasons for his change in his behaviour, and instead disappearing into his room with a bottle once again.

The day before, Daniel had made a discovery that much to his concern, perhaps solved the mystery. He had turned on the radio while he made dinner for the both of them only to hear the disc jockey announce the next song in his playlist, a song called ‘Blue Eyed Boy’ by up and coming rock band KK and the Beat.  Daniel knew that was Harry’s former girlfriend Kate’s band, and as he listened to a few bars of the song before turning off the radio, there was no mistaking the voice of the young Irish girl. He gathered Harry had heard the song being played which had sent him into this downward spiral. Perhaps he’s not as over her as I thought, Daniel thought worriedly to himself as he headed for the young man’s bedroom when there was no reply.

He found him lying on the bed staring out the window, unshaven and his hair a mess, an open bottle of Irish whiskey and a glass on the bedside table next to him.

“Harry my boy.. what are you doing?” Daniel asked him, his voice a mixture of both concern and a little annoyance. It would not do either of them any good for his young protege to wallow in self pity – he needed him on his game for the heist he had planned for them to carry out in the next few days.

“That’s a very good question Daniel,” Harry replied as he turned his head to look at him, his blue eyes seeming even bluer with a bit of drink in him. “What am I doing here? I should be back in London with Kate,” he stated regretfully as he poured himself another drink. Daniel shook his head as he went to grab the bottle off him, but Harry snatched it away, shooting Daniel a filthy look as he did so. 

"Why did you make me leave her Daniel? Why did you make me break her heart?” he threw at him accusingly as Daniel looked at him a little shocked, but he tried to tell himself it was just the alcohol talking.

“I assure you Harry I didn’t ‘make you’ do anything - that was all your doing my boy. Yes I may have suggested you come with me but you made the decision at the end of the day. And you know what? It was the right one. You did both of you a favour by leaving her,” Daniel threw back at him.

At that Harry laughed drunkenly, a wry, sad half-smile crossing his face.  “I did her a favour? Who are you kidding Daniel? Have you heard that song of hers? It’s about me and how I left her and broke her heart. And now all I can do is sleep with a different girl every night to try and forget her but I’m just using them – I don’t feel anything for them. In fact, I don’t want to feel anything for a woman again. I’m a good for nothing lowlife,” he said with a heavy dose of self-derision as he ran a hand over his face.

Daniel felt for the lad but he knew he had to try and convince him otherwise. “Harry come now, don’t be so hard on yourself – I hardly see those young ladies protesting. Trust me, she will move on and so will you if you’ll only let yourself.”

“What if I don’t want to move on Daniel?” Harry snapped back at him. “She meant more to me than ten of these other girls ever could. I could have had a life with her Daniel – we could have settled down, had kids..” he went on, a look of regret on his face, as Daniel regarded him with an odd expression for a moment as he remembered once upon a time, a very long time ago, feeling the same thing. But he had learnt to ignore those sentiments and bury them deep inside where they wouldn’t complicate things and remind him of what he’d lost and what could have been. And now he knew he needed to teach Harry how to do the same if he was going to survive in the world Daniel was in the process of making him a part of.

“Do you seriously think that’s what she would have wanted Harry? How would she be able to succeed in the music industry if she had children? She could hardly ‘take them on tour’ with her, now could she? You have got to forget these fanciful, romanticised notions Harry and wake up to reality my boy. You were too different for it to ever work out for the two of you and your lives have moved in different directions and will continue to do so. And why are you even thinking about children at your age for Harry? That’s absurd! And really, what sort of father do you think you’d be able to be in our line of work?“ Daniel chided him, trying to make him see sense.

“I didn’t mean now Daniel but sometime in the future I’d like to have children. And I’ll tell you what sort of father I’d be – a darn sight better than my own poor excuse for a father!” he replied angrily as Daniel momentarily focused his gaze on the floor so Harry wouldn’t see the expression on his face, the regret in his eyes.

Harry then jumped up off the bed, staggering a little as he made his way to the door. “Where are you going Harry? You’re in no fit state to be going anywhere,” Daniel demanded as he stood in his way.

“I’m going out Daniel – I’m gonna go do some ‘moving on’ as you put it,” Harry replied somewhat bitterly as he tried not to slur his words. “Now get out of my way,” he added, as his mentor caught a glimpse of that untamed, angry young boy he had once been and he realised that that part of him, although now buried under new clothes and a new accent, was still there. And he knew better than to argue with that, especially when Harry had been drinking.

Daniel somewhat reluctantly stepped aside. “Suit yourself.. but please Harry, just think about what I said. You can’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself forever,” he stated as he gave him a meaningful look which Harry chose to ignore as he stormed past him out of the villa, slamming the door behind hm.

_Meanwhile in London…_

Kate walked over to the lounge in her flat and sat down, putting a hot water bottle against her back. Now six months pregnant, she was really starting to feel the effects of her pregnancy on her body, an almost constantly aching back being one of them. “Oh that’s better,” she sighed as she closed her eyes for a moment and rested her hand on her rounded belly. As if in response to her touch, the baby kicked which brought a smile to her face. “You’re a strong little one aren’t you kiddo?’ she remarked with a gentle smile as she rubbed her hand over her belly, still finding it somewhat hard to believe that there was a little person growing inside her. Her child.. well her and Harry’s child, she thought a little sadly, wishing not for the first time, that he hadn’t left her, that he was instead here with her and their baby, where he belonged.

As she wiped away a tear she instead tried to focus on the miracle of the life she carried within her. “I wonder what you’re going to look like little one?’ she wondered out loud, part of her hoping the baby would have his or her father’s gorgeous blue eyes. But then another part of her wondered how she would cope, looking at those eyes every day as a constant reminder of her baby’s absent father.

As if echoing her thoughts her band’s song, ’Blue Eyed Boy,’ then came on the radio as a wry smile crossed her face. While she was happy it was doing so well in the charts, the lyrics also made her sad.

“ _My blue eyed boy where did you go?_

_My blue eyed boy I love you so,_

_Tell me why did we have to part?_

_Tell me why did you break my heart?”_

“That song’s about your daddy, my darling,” she told her unborn child as she swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing she had to be strong for both her and her baby’s sake. She knew deep down that if she was going to survive she had to let him go – she just didn’t know how to do that though..


	6. Chapter 6

Three months later…

“Are you feeling okay Kate?” Mile asked his heavily pregnant, now 18 year old, protégé.

“I’m okay Miles,” she reassured him. “Ready for this kid to come out though,” she admitted with a wry smile. Somehow they had managed to hide her pregnancy from the press – only Miles, her close friends & her band and the staff at the recording studio knew and they had all been sworn to secrecy.

“Feel up to recording?” he asked as she nodded. She was keen to get the album finished before the baby came. She hadn’t been in the studio long though when she began to feel some pains. She tried to ignore them at first but they were getting progressively worse until she got to the point where she couldn’t ignore them anymore.

“Miles,” she said into the mic weakly, “Ah can we take five? I think the baby’s coming.”

With that everyone in the place went into a panic. “Quick, someone call a taxi,” Miles instructed as two of Kate’s band members helped her to a chair. Once the taxi arrived Miles helped her into it and got in next to her, telling the driver to take them to the hospital. When they got there Kate was wheeled into the maternity ward while the nurse at the front desk asked Miles for her details.

“Are you the father?” she asked giving the middle aged man a judgemental look.

“No, no,” he replied hurriedly. “I’m her .. uncle,” he stated , not wanting to say manager or record producer, as she was starting to become quite well known.

“So where’s the baby’s father?” the nurse inquired.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Miles replied more than a little angrily.

Meanwhile Kate was busy calling her baby’s father every name under the sun, both in English and Gaelic, as her labour progressed. “God damn you Harry you bastard! Where the hell are you when I need you?? Fuilteacha shinach!” she muttered between gritted teeth as another contraction hit her.

Miles paced up & down in the waiting room outside, hoping Kate and the baby were okay. The midwife as it turned out was an older Irish lady who took pity on the poor young lass from her homeland, an unwed mother no less. How many times had she come across young girls like this, she thought to herself, abandoned by their young Romeos once they got them into trouble.

“I can’t do this - it hurts too much,” Kate cried as the pain and her fear started to overwhelm her.

“C’mon lass you can do this – your wee one’s almost here,” she encouraged Kate. “Now I want you to hold onto my hand and push with all your might,” she instructed her. Kate nodded in between ragged breaths then did as the midwife instructed, summoning all her hidden reserves of strength to give birth to her & Harry’s child.

“That’s the girl, you’ve done it – well done. Congratulations – you have a baby boy,” the doctor said to her with a smile as he handed the baby to her. Tears streamed down Kate’s face as she looked at the tiny bundle in her arms, her son, with his full head of black hair, so like his father’s.

“Ooh he’s a cute little one – what are you going to call him?” the midwife asked with a smile.

Kate tenderly traced his cheek and looked at him, not quite believing he was here. “His name’s Harry,” she stated, as her tears of both joy at the miracle of her son and sadness at the fact his father was not there to see him and share the moment with her, flowed freely.


	7. Chapter 7

_Christmas Eve, 1971.._

Kate and the other members of KK and the Beat were backstage getting ready to rehearse for the Christmas charity concert they were playing at that year. “Here’s the two songs for your set,” the stage manager said as he handed a sheet to Kate. She looked at the two songs they were down to perform – “Jingle Bell Rock” and “It’s Christmas (Baby Please come Home) – ‘Great’ she thought ruefully to herself in reference to the second one, ‘that’s hitting a bit too close to home’. This would be a Christmas full of mixed emotions for Kate – the first Christmas for her baby boy Harry which was a reason to celebrate but also her first Christmas without his father, Harry Senior, which definitely didn’t make her feel like celebrating.

As they rehearsed the songs Kate’s mind couldn’t help remembering the two Christmases she’d spent with Harry Senior, the first one in particular that they had spent at Daniel’s place. Mind on the job O’Casey, she told herself firmly as she fought back the tears she felt springing to her eyes.

Later on that night …

Harry was sitting in a hotel in the south of France with Daniel, the two of them toasting each other on the success of their latest ‘job’. Harry sat down on the lounge and flicked on the tv, changing the channels until he found one televising a Christmas charity concert that was being held in London.

He almost dropped his drink as he realised the band playing was KK and the Beat and there was Kate, his former love, front and centre on the stage.

“Oh .. is that young Kay?” Daniel remarked as he looked at the screen, deliberately calling her the wrong name.

“Kate,” Harry corrected him. “Yes it is.” God she looks good, he thought to himself as he looked at her on the screen clad in a black leather jump suit and he took a swig of his drink to get rid of the sudden pang of regret he felt.

The camera zoomed up on her face as she was singing “ _It’s Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)_ ”, and to Harry it felt like those green eyes of hers were boring right into him as she sang:

“ _They’re singing deck the halls_

_But it’s not like Christmas at all_

_I remember when you were here_

_And all the fun we had last year.._

_If there was a way_

_I’d hold back these tears_

_But it’s Christmas Day_

_Baby please come home.”_

He wondered if she was thinking of him as she sang those lines as he found his mind going back over the two Christmases they’d spent together, in particular that first one at Daniel’s, when they had made love on the lounge in front of the fire and he had felt closer to her than he had ever felt to another person in his whole life. _And yet you left her sport,_ the little voice in his head reminded him. But as he watched her performing and the crowd going wild for her, he realised with a degree of both pride  & sadness that she had made it and that he never would have fit into that world, trying to convince himself he’d done the right thing.

Somewhat mesmerised, he continued to watch her and the band perform. When they got to the end of the song they bowed and Kate thanked the audience & wished them a Merry Christmas. As they came off stage a television reporter and camera man came up to Kate.

“Excuse me Kate have you got a minute?” the reporter asked as Kate stopped & smiled. Although she was in a rush to get home she knew this was an inevitable part of her job. “Great performance tonight by you and the band,” the reporter said as Kate smiled graciously and thanked her.

“Yeah it’s a really great crowd out there tonight and it’s for a great cause,” Kate added.

“So what are your plans for Christmas Kate? Spending it with anyone special?"

As he heard that question Harry leant a bit closer to the tv, curious to hear Kate’s answer. A small smile crossed her face as she nodded and sa,id “Yes I am – he’s waiting at home for me right now actually, so if you don’t mind I’d like to get home to him.”

As he heard her say that a frown clouded Harry’s handsome features. Boy, she didn’t take long to move on, he thought bitterly to himself. It hasn’t even been a year and she’s already replaced me. With that he turned off the tv in disgust, a hurt, angry look crossing his face which Daniel noticed as he realised his young protege wasn’t quite as over that girl as he had thought he’d been.

Kate got back to her flat as soon as she could, paying the babysitter who’d minded little Harry for her. She quietly went into his bedroom and watched him as he lay sleeping in his crib. She gently planted a kiss on his little head and whispered softly “Merry Christmas my blue eyed boy,” as a single tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of his father and how much her life had changed in the past year since he’d left her…


	8. Chapter 8

A month or so later..

An exhausted Kate tumbled into bed after resettling little Harry again for what seemed like the hundreth time that night. He was teething and had been very unsettled for the past week. It seemed to Kate that her head had just hit the pillow when he started crying again.

“Oh Harry sweetheart can’t you let Mummy have just an hour of sleep?” she groaned as she went to drag herself out of bed again. The she heard a familiar voice with an Irish brogue whisper “Go back to sleep Katie, I’ll get him.”

She struggled to open her eyes but when she did so she saw Harry Senior, his blue eyes twinkling at her, his gorgeous lopsided grin crossing his face as he bent over his son’s cot and gently picked him up.

“Harry?” she asked incredulously, not quite believing he was there.

“There, there mate - it’s okay,” he said softly to little Harry, cradling him in his strong arms, as Kate watched, too stunned to speak.

“What’s up with my little man eh?’ he asked as he tenderly ran a hand over his son’s head who had stopped crying and was instead making contented, happy little noises.

“Cute little tyke isn’t he?’ he said with a proud grin as he looked at her and Kate nodded and smiled.

“Yes he is – takes after his Daddy,” she found her voice.

“Yeah I guess he does – you’ve got my eyes don’t you Junior? And my hair,” he said with such a mixture of love and pride that Kate could feel tears springing to her eyes. He then sat down with little Harry cradled on his chest and began feeding him his bottle, his blue eyes never leaving his son’s as Kate felt her heart melt. Kate got up and walked over to her two blue eyed boys, resting a hand on Harry’s shoulder as she gazed at their son too.

“Look at what we made Harry – isn’t he the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen?” she murmured with a smile as he smiled back at her & leant his head against her.

“That he is O’Casey, that he is,” he replied with a smile of his own. He then stood up with little Harry in his arms and looked at her intently, his blue eyes shining with love and devotion. “I’m so glad I came back to you both,” he said as Kate felt her tears falling down her cheeks.

“So am I,” she replied as he brought his face to hers and just as his lips brushed hers Harry Junior started crying again.

“It’s okay Harry, Daddy’s got you,” she heard herself say but then as she looked at where Harry Senior had been standing he was gone.

“Harry??!” she called out as she suddenly found herself sitting up in her bed. But the only reply was the sound of little Harry’s crying as it suddenly hit her – it had all been a dream, nothing but a dream. Harry’s daddy wasn’t here, he hadn’t come back to them, he wasn’t there being a father to his son - they were alone. And as she got up to her son, her tears, like his, began to flow…


	9. Chapter 9

The following year Kate was in Hyde Park one day with little Harry enjoying a day out in the sunshine with her now just over one year old son. She’d recently moved to a bigger place not far from the park with more room for herself and Harry, and in a better area to raise her son in – away from the old neighbourhood and all the old memories it held. She rolled a ball to Harry as he giggled and chased after it, still a bit wobbly on his little legs after starting to walk a couple of months before. “That’s it Harry, kick it back to Mummy,” she encouraged him with a smile as he grinned his cute little lopsided grin at her which broke her heart a little every time she saw it as it was just like his father’s.

Unbeknowns to Kate an old friend of hers & little Harry’s father was walking through the park at the same time. As he looked about as he walked along Chalkie spied a young girl playing with a little dark haired toddler.  As he looked closer he thought the girl looked familiar and then as he neared them he realised who it was. “Kate! Hi!,” he greeted her with a grin. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Kate looked up to see Harry Senior’s old mate Chalkie standing there. “Oh Hi Chalkie – how’s things?” she greeted him with a smile as little Harry toddled over to her and she scooped him up in her arms. At that Chalkie looked a little sheepish. “Good now I’m out of the nick,” he admitted as she looked at him a little surprised, although then she recalled her old friend Trish telling her a while back that Chalkie had been nabbed by the coppers. “Well you see it was all a bit of a misunderstanding really – that’s what I tried to tell the magistrate,” he tried to explain but Kate held a hand up with a laugh. “You don’t need to explain anything to me Chalkie,” as he smiled gratefully at her.

“But what about you hey? The big rock star huh? You’ve really made it Kate,” Chalkie said admiringly as Kate smiled and thanked him. He grinned at her then looked at the toddler she held in her arms. “He’s a cute little fella. You baby sittin’ for someone? What’s his name?” he asked as a rueful smile crossed Kate’s face and she shook her head. “No I’m not babysitting him Chalkie – he’s mine,” she replied as a shocked look crossed his face. ”Blimey! Have I been out of action for that long? I never knew you had a baby Kate,” Chalkie replied in surprise. “A lot of people don’t,” Kate replied a little ruefully.  “His name’s Harry – I named him after his father,” she added as she gave him a meaningful look.

At that Chalkie’s eyes widened in disbelief, but then as he looked at the little boy with his dark hair and big baby blue eyes and a familiar lopsided grin crossed the toddler’s face he knew it must be true. “You mean Harry’s his father?” he asked incredulously as Kate silently nodded. “Bloody hell! Does he know?” Chalkie asked as Kate shook her head, struggling to fight back her tears. “No he doesn’t – he left before I found out I was pregnant and I have no idea where he is to be able to tell him. Seems he left me with a little something to remember him by,” she replied a little wryly.

“You haven’t heard from him have you?” she asked more than a little hopefully. Chalkie shook his head. “’Fraid not - seems he cut all his ties with the past when he left hey?” he replied as Kate nodded in agreement. “Seems that way doesn’t it,” she agreed a little bitterly.

Chalkie looked a little awkward then, not really knowing what to say. “Well I ah.. better be going. It was good to see you again Kate. And ah.. nice to meet you little Harry,” he said as his old friend’s son looked up at him and giggled. “Good to see you too Chalkie,” Kate replied with a smile. ”You take care of yourself and little Harry there hey?” he said with an uncharacteristic sentimentality, still quite shocked by Kate’s revelation . “I will,” Kate confirmed with a smile as he bade her farewell and continued on his way.


	10. Chapter 10

_Remington remembered a time a couple of years after he’d left London and Kate that he briefly contemplated going back to her.._  

He was twenty one at the time and he and Daniel were in Amsterdam on ‘business.’ There was a rare art exhibit at the Rijksmuseum that he & Daniel were very interested in – Daniel thought it was the perfect opportunity for Harry to try out some of his newly acquired ‘skills’. He had to admit the young man had a natural flair for such things that never ceased to amaze him.  After spending the day casing the Museum they had found an Irish pub, _Slainte_ , not far from the red light district in which to enjoy a few pints.

While Daniel excused himself to visit the men’s room Harry looked around the pub, as quite a few of the women in the place looked at him, hoping to catch his eye. He was dressed in an open necked white shirt with a few of the buttons undone and a light brown casual suit. The barmaid had flirted with him mercilessly when he’d ordered the pints for himself and Daniel, but as she was Irish he had just smiled and politely went on his way. After Kate, he had made it a rule not to get involved with Irish women – they just reminded him too much of her. So instead he had focused his attention on a cute blonde Dutch girl sitting with a group of her friends not too far away. As she caught him looking at her she smiled at him. He flashed her a grin and as he went to get up to go and talk to her he bumped into a bloke who was walking past.

“Sorry mate didn’t see you there,” the guy stated in a Cockney accent Harry immediately recognised. 

“Chalkie?” Harry asked with surprise, wondering what his old friend from Brixton was doing here in Amsterdam. Chalkie looked at the tall, dark haired guy who he’d just bumped into and didn’t immediately recognise him but then as he looked closer he realised who it was.

“Harry??!” Chalkie exclaimed in shock, looking at the short haired guy in the suit who stood before him, so different to how he remembered him. Harry grinned and nodded at him and as Chalkie recognised the familiar lopsided grin he realised, although he looked different, it was indeed his old friend.

“Bloody hell Harry – what happened to you? What’s this get up you’re in? And what happened to your hair?” Chalkie laughed as the two of them sat down and Harry smiled ruefully.

“It’s called a suit Chalkie, and I got a haircut,” he laughed back.

“And what’s with the toff accent?” Chalkie asked.

”You’re looking at the new and improved me,” he quipped as Chalkie shook his head in disbelief. “So what brings you to Amsterdam anyway?” Harry asked as a grin crossed Chalkie’s face.

“Oh you know, thought I’d see the sights – do a bit of window shopping that sort of thing,” Chalkie replied with a wink as Harry laughed.

“You haven’t changed mate,” he remarked. “No I haven’t – but you sure have Harry. So what are you doing here? And why did you just take off like that a couple of years ago? You didn’t say goodbye or nuffin’ – I thought we were mates Harry,” he stated a little accusingly.

Harry looked a little uncomfortable. “Ah I’m here for the art and on business. That’s why I had to take off so suddenly – I ah.. got a business opportunity I couldn’t pass up,” he replied a little hurriedly, trying to block out the memory of the morning he’d left Kate with just a note.

Chalkie paused for a moment then said, “I wasn’t the only one who missed you,” as he gave him a meaningful look. “That day you left I ran into Kate and she was so pissed, man I thought she was going to kill me. She slammed me up against a wall demanding to know if I knew where you’d gone.”

At this Harry felt a wave of guilt and regret wash over him at the way he’d left her and obviously hurt her. He hesitated for a moment then asked, his curiosity getting the better of him, “I guess she doesn’t live in the old neighbourhood anymore, but have you seen her about at all?” He looked a bit puzzled at the odd expression that momentarily crossed Chalkie’s face.

“I ..ah ran into her about a year ago,” Chalkie replied then looking down at the floor paused for a moment then looking at his old friend said “Harry, there’s something you ought to know about Kate – she had..” but he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Daniel then returned to the table.

“Ah.. who do we have here then?” he greeted them, recognising the young man talking to Harry as one of his old friends from London.

“Daniel.. do you remember my mate Chalkie? And Chalkie, this is my ‘business associate’ Daniel Chalmers – I think you met once or twice in London,” Harry introduced them, momentarily forgetting that Chalkie had been about to say something about Kate.  The two men greeted each other but Daniel was keen to get Harry away from this reminder of his past, fearing that he might get him thinking about Kate again. Although with the amount of young women he had gone through in the last few years Daniel was fairly certain he had her out of his system by now. Still, he didn’t want to take any chances…

“Well I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut this reunion short chaps  - Harry and I have an early start in the morning. Nice to see you again Chalkie,” Daniel stated as he grabbed Harry none too subtly and started nudging him towards the door.

“But Daniel…I’m not ready to leave yet,” Harry protested as he cast a look at the blonde girl who still sat nearby watching him hopefully.

“Yes you are my boy,” Daniel stated firmly as he practically pushed him out the door. “I’ll see you around Harry,” Chalkie called after him as Harry waved apologetically, wondering what on earth had got into Daniel.

The next morning Harry went for a walk to grab some breakfast for himself and Daniel. Since bumping into his old mate Chalkie the night before his thoughts had kept returning to Kate. Chalkie had said she’d missed him and as much as he hated to admit it, he still missed her. He’d even dreamt of her the night before. Maybe I should try and get in touch with her he thought to himself, wondering if it was too late to go back. Maybe I made a mistake leaving her, the all too present doubt in his mind reared its ugly head again. But then his old fears took over - he knew in the couple of years since he’d left her she’d achieved a considerable amount of success in the music industry. Their worlds were even further apart now.

As he passed a news stand he picked up a magazine and began idly flicking through the pages and then saw a picture which to him confirmed he had made the right choice. It was a picture of Kate leaving some music awards function on the arm of some pop star he’d heard of. He stared at the picture for a moment or two, a mixture of emotions running through him – jealousy, anger, hurt, regret. “Doesn’t look like she’s missing me that much,” he muttered angrily under his breath as he screwed up the magazine and threw it in the bin then stalked off down the street.


	11. Chapter 11

That night Harry went back to the Irish pub he’d been at the night before but this time without Daniel. He was hoping the cute girl he’d seen the night before might be there again – he needed a distraction from his memories of Kate.  Eager to make a quick quid as well, he was soon involved in a pool game which he was easily winning. As he lined up his cue stick to take another shot he looked up momentarily and saw the girl sitting there, not far away, watching him. A grin spread across his face as he caught her eye. Unlike the previous night, this time she was alone.

With a bit of added incentive he finished the game even more quickly. He tucked his winnings safely away in his pocket then strode over to her. “Two nights in a row eh? Must be fate,” he quipped with a twinkle in his blue eyes, flashing her a smile which she returned.

“Must be,” she replied as she motioned for him to sit down. “I’m Lisa,” she introduced herself as she held out her hand.

“I’m Ha.. Michael,” he corrected himself, thinking as he did so that the name ‘Harry’ belonged to a different place, a different time, a different woman. He took her hand in his and kissed it, laying on the charm which had the intended effect.

“You’re pretty handy with your stick I see,” Lisa laughed as she gave him a suggestive look and he cocked an eyebrow at her in a devilish fashion and chuckled as well.

“Oh when I know what I’m aiming for I’m usually pretty well on the mark,” he replied as he looked at her intently, and both of them knew he wasn’t talking about pool.

“And what are you aiming for?” she replied, returning the look.

With that he softly brushed her lips with his and murmured, “Answer your question?”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Yes I think it does,” she replied as she pulled his face down to hers again, the kiss deepening, Harry thinking to himself, yes this is exactly what I need.

“So um do you live around these parts?” he asked when they finally drew apart.

“I’ve got a little place not far from here,” she confirmed as a boyish grin crossed his face.

“And you?” Lisa asked, gathering from his accent that he wasn’t a local.

“Oh I’m just visiting. But I think I’ve found a reason to stay around a bit longer,” Harry replied as his blue eyes twinkled at her and she smiled,“Glad to hear it.”

They talked and laughed for a little while longer, Harry wondering what length of time it would be impolite to suggest before, that they get out of there. When their conversation momentarily paused he took his opportunity. “So ..ah.. do you want to get out of here?” he asked as he leant closer to her.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Lisa replied with a laugh as he grinned at her and grabbed her hand.

When they got back to her place Harry followed her inside as she switched on the lights. He’d lost count of the number of women he’d been with since leaving Kate but none of them had meant anything to him – he’d love them and leave them without a second thought. At first he’d found it hard to be with other women without thinking of her - he was sure the first one he’d been with after her, he’d inadvertently called Katie. He couldn’t even remember the girl’s actual name. And while they satisfied a physical need in him, none of them satisfied the ache in his heart. He wondered if this girl would be the same. There was something about her though, he thought as he watched her pour them both a drink.

He smiled at her as she handed him a drink and she smiled back at him. He sipped it slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, then put it down and took her glass from her and put it down as well. She didn’t protest – she knew as well as he did what they were there for. He took her into his arms, his lips finding hers as he brushed a lock of hair from her face. In response Lisa began unbuttoning his shirt, running her hands through the hair on his chest as she moved her lips to his neck but Harry moved his head so she couldn’t reach that spot under his ear that Kate had discovered, the spot that reduced him to jelly. Even after all this time he couldn’t bear for anyone else to go there. So instead he started kissing Lisa’s neck as he murmured huskily “Your turn,” and he slowly lowered the straps of her dress. He shrugged off his shirt as with a smile she took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

“Do you have any protection?” Lisa murmured in his ear as they continued to undress each other and fell back onto the bed together.

“In my wallet,” Harry replied as he reluctantly let her go  temporarily so she could lean over the side of the bed to grab his wallet out of his discarded pants. He lay back with his eyes closed momentarily, as he tried to force out the image of another girl that had just popped into his head and the flood of memories of moments like this that he had spent with her that accompanied the image. Lisa looked through his wallet for a condom and as she did so came across a folded up photo booth strip. Curiously she unfolded it to see a series of photos of the man in her bed with a young dark haired girl. He looked younger in the photos, his hair a bit longer as well. He and the girl were laughing in the photos and pulling silly faces and in the last shot they were kissing.

“Who’s the girl?” she asked as his eyes opened, momentarily wondering if she’d somehow read his mind.

“What girl?” he asked.

“The girl in these photos I found in your wallet,” Lisa replied as she held up the photo strip.

Harry swallowed the lump that came to his throat as she watched with interest the expression that momentarily crossed his face. “It’s.. no-one. Just someone I used to know,” he replied hurriedly.

“That you still carry a photo round of?” Lisa asked, a little sceptical of his answer.

Thinking back to the picture he’d seen of Kate earlier that day in that magazine on the arm of some other guy, he made a conscious decision. He’d been a bit surprised by how much seeing that picture had bothered him after nearly three years. Time to move on sport and leave the past where it belongs, he thought to himself. Kate’s obviously moved on – time you did the same. With that thought in mind he grabbed the photo strip from Lisa and threw it into a corner of the room.

“Quite frankly I’m much more interested in you..right here.. right now,” he replied, his voice husky and his blue eyes smouldering at her as he ran a finger along one of her arms, distracting her from delving any further into the matter. “Now are you going to find what you were looking for in the first place – I think that’s more important at the moment than some old photos don’t you?” he added as he cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Definitely,” she smiled at him, lost in his eyes, as she found what she’d been looking for in the first place and handed it to him. He grinned at her and then all thoughts of old photos quickly disappeared…

Meanwhile in London..

The owner of the matching photo strip was also looking at it, the circumstances she found herself in rather different to Harry’s though. Having a nostalgic moment as she watched her 2 year old son Harry playing, twenty year old Kate had pulled out the photo strip. A bitter sweet smile crossed her face as she looked at the photos – looking at the young girl she had once been, it seemed a lifetime ago rather than just a few years. That young girl had been so naïve she thought to herself, never suspecting what lay ahead of her. Never thinking that the young man in the photos laughing with her and kissing her would leave her. Never knowing that here she would be a few short years later raising their child on her own.

She momentarily looked at little Harry who was the spitting image of his father – same dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes. And the same cheeky grin she reflected as little Harry grinned as he played with his favourite toy, a tiger, which his father had won for her at a carnival they’d once gone to together, which she thought was rather ironic as she had often called his father ‘tiger’. As Harry played with the tiger he made roaring noises which made Kate laugh despite her rather melancholy mood. “Just like your Daddy,” she remarked with a rueful shake of her head. With that little Harry looked at his mother and smiled at her which melted her heart – as much as his father had broken her heart, his son had certainly helped to mend it she reflected. Her little man was her world and if nothing else, at least Harry Senior had given her him.

As she looked back at the photos a single tear that she fought to hold back trickled down her cheek. Looking at his mother Harry toddled over to her and climbed up on the lounge next to her, snuggling up against her as she pulled him onto her lap and planted a kiss on his little head. He looked at the photo she was holding. “Mummy,” he said as he pointed at her in the photos as she nodded.

“Yes that’s Mummy,’ she replied.

“Who dat?” he asked as he pointed to the young man in the photos with her.

Kate swallowed the lump in her throat. “That’s your Daddy sweetheart,” she stated, smiling at him through her tears.

“Daddy?” he repeated the word, not knowing what it meant.

Kate ran a hand through his hair, so like his father’s as her son looked at her curiously. “Mummy cry,” he observed, a concerned look crossing his little face.

Kate tried to blink back her tears as she smiled a watery smile at him. “Yes Mummies cry sometimes too,” she explained.

Little Harry looked at her for a moment then said,“Harry kiss Mummy better,” as he flung his little arms around her neck and planted a kiss on her cheek as Kate hugged him tight.

“If only you could my darling boy,” Kate whispered into his hair, then she decided to put the photos and the memories away, both for her’s and her son’s sake.

It had been 3 years now since Harry’s father had left and she knew he wasn’t coming back. He could be anywhere in the world and with anyone – all she was certain of was that he wasn’t with them. She knew the chances of Harry ever meeting or knowing his father were slim - after all he didn’t even know he existed. Didn’t know there was a little him walking around. So the less Harry knew about him the better, she thought, thinking it would only hurt him. Of course she would tell him what she knew about his father if he ever asked, but she didn’t even know his last name to tell him. But as she put the photo strip away she decided she wouldn’t show it to Harry again – it was better that way, she thought. She took one last look at it before she tucked it away, tucking away the memories as well in a little closed off part of her heart…

                                **********************************************

The next morning when Harry (Senior) awoke he momentarily wondered where he was, waking up in an unfamiliar bed. He’d had the strangest dream – his mate Chalkie who he’d bumped into the other night was in it, trying to tell him something. He got the feeling it was important but he couldn’t hear what he was saying. And then Kate was there kissing him but then she drew away and looked at  him with tears in her eyes. “You threw us away Harry – how could you do that?” she asked, her eyes boring into his. He tried to speak in his dream but nothing came out and then she disappeared. He was trying to find her in the dream he remembered, he could hear her singing but he couldn’t see her. And then when he’d thought he’d finally found her, he found it wasn’t her at all but Lisa, the Dutch girl he’d spent the night with. The girl whose blue eyes he found looking into his with a smile on her face as he awoke, shaking his head a little to dismiss the green eyes that had looked at him so accusingly in his dream.

“Good morning - wondered when you were going to wake up,” Lisa greeted him as she kissed him softly then rested her head on his chest.

“Morning,” he replied with a grin, focusing on the here & now as she ran her fingers through his chest hair.

“So you want to tell me about the girl in the photos? She obviously meant something to you,” she said perceptively as Harry ran an exasperated hand through his hair. She wasn’t going to give it up obviously.

“It was a long time ago – we were just kids in London,” he tried to explain, not wanting to go any further into it.

“So what happened? You know, she looked kind of familiar,” Lisa went on, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Do you really want to be discussing my ex-girlfriend now? I’m here with you aren’t I?” he retorted a little defensively as she looked at him, a little shocked by his curt response. At the look on her face he sighed. “Look I’m sorry Lisa – I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’d just rather leave the past where it belongs – in the past.” With that he smiled at her, turning on the charm as he ran a hand through her blonde locks. “And I’d much rather focus on the present wouldn’t you?” as he brought his lips to hers and they were soon engrossed in each other.

Harry (or Michael as she knew him as) spent quite a bit of time with Lisa while he & Daniel were in Amsterdam. But he had to admit he was kind of relieved when Daniel suggested they move on to another city in another country for their next ‘job’, as despite himself he was starting to feel something for her. And he had vowed not to do that again. Plus every now and again she would ask him about his past, something he was very reluctant to discuss and preferred to forget – it was too painful to remember. So as he had done with Kate, he ran – as he did with every other woman who entered his life until he met Laura and realised he didn’t want to run anymore...


	12. Chapter 12

When young Harry was four, Kate had taken him to the local park one day. “Look at me Mummy,” he called to her as he climbed on the jungle gym, a cute little lopsided grin, which reminded her so much of his father, crossing his face.

“Wow look at you, clever boy! Just be careful okay,” she called back to him with a loving smile. As she watched some of the fathers at the park playing with their sons, a wistful look crossed her face, wishing for what seemed like the thousandth time that her son’s father was there with them.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice at first one of the other mothers sit down on the bench next to her. “You just got the one?” the other mum said with a smile as she motioned to Harry. Kate nodded and returned the smile. “Oh sometimes I wish I’d stopped at one but then they give me a hug and I know I wouldn’t be without them,” the woman sitting next to Kate remarked with a laugh as two of her kids came running up to her and she placed a hand on her pregnant belly.

Kate smiled and said, “I would have liked to have had more,” wondering to herself if Harry senior hadn’t left her if they would have ended up having more children together. As she wondered that she found her mind wandering…

She heard little Harry giggling and looked up to see him jumping on top of his father. “I got you Daddy!” he exclaimed with a giggle as the two of them play wrestled on the grass and Kate laughed to herself as she watched ‘her boys’, wondering who was the bigger kid.

“Oh you think so little man eh?” Harry Senior laughed as he playfully scooped up his son and tickled him as Harry Junior’s happy giggles continued.

Kate then felt a little hand tugging on hers. “Cuddle Mummy?” her and Harry’s two year old daughter Niamh said, her green eyes shining at her mother’s, as Kate smiled at her and picked her up and cuddled her, running a hand over her ebony black hair, which was so like her father’s.

At that thought she couldn’t help casting an appreciative glance at her children’s father as he played with their son. He was wearing jeans and a denim jacket with a black t-shirt underneath and as he swept a hand through his collar length hair the sun glinted on the diamond earring in his ear. He was by far the coolest, most gorgeous looking young dad there at the park, she thought to herself as a grin crossed her face. He caught her looking at him and flashed her a lopsided grin. “C’mon Junior let’s go see what your mammy and little sister are up to eh?” he said as he put a hand on his son’s shoulder and guided him in Kate’s direction.

“Ah there’s my beautiful green eyed girl!” Harry exclaimed as his & Kate’s daughter reached up her little hands to him saying, “Daddy!” with a cute little smile, and he picked her up in his strong arms. Harry Junior hopped up onto the bench seat next to his mother as she put an arm around him and planted a kiss on his head as she and his father shared a happy smile as they looked at their family. A family that was due to expand even more Kate thought happily to herself as she rested a hand on her pregnant belly and Harry covered her hand with his own.

“How’s our wee one doing eh?” he asked with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

“He or she is doing well – I’m thinking he maybe by the amount of kicking they’re doing,” she replied with a wry smile, thinking to herself she wouldn’t mind having another little boy, although she didn’t really mind if it was a boy or girl as long as they were healthy.

“Another one to the add to the football team eh?’ Harry quipped with a lopsided grin as he winked at Harry Junior who returned the grin.

“Steady.. we’re not having a whole football team Harry! Maybe three will do nicely,” Kate laughed as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“I must admit we are getting pretty good at this baby making business aren’t we O’Casey?” Harry replied cheekily as he gave her a meaningful look and planted a kiss on her lips.

“I’ll say – I think you just look at me and I get pregnant,” Kate laughed a little ruefully as Harry couldn’t help but grin at her.

”I think I do more than just look at you Katie,” he quipped devilishly as she returned his grin with one of her own.

”Oh that you do Harry,” she retorted cheekily.

Their conversation was interrupted however by their son who started tugging on Kate’s arm, “Mummy I’m hungry,” he stated as he looked at her with his big blue eyes. “Okay Harry I’ll get you something in a minute sweetheart,” she replied as she went to remark to his father that his appetite was just like his.

She was then snapped out of her daydream back to reality, by little Harry’s insistent tugging on her arm. “Mummy can you get me some food now?” he persisted as Kate brought her mind back to the present, where it was just her and her son – no Daddy and no little siblings for Harry, she realised a little sadly, thinking to herself that her dream of having 3 kids was never going to happen, well not with Harry’s father at any rate. With that she firmed her resolve to focus on what she did have – the gorgeous little boy standing next to her who was her whole world. “Of course sweetheart, there you go,” she replied as she pulled an apple out of her bag for him and affectionately ruffled his jet black  hair thinking to herself, looks like it’s just you and me kid…


	13. Chapter 13

The year young Harry turned six Kate attended the Grammy’s in LA one weekend leaving him at home with his nanny as KK and the Beat had been nominated for a few awards. After the awards ceremony which they had been quite successful at, Kate just wanted to go back to her hotel room and relax – since she’d had Harry she hardly ever partied like she used to do - but her band mates were having none of it.

“C’mon Kate we are celebrating tonight!” Nat, one of her back-up singers had said to her in a no-nonsense voice as they all headed off to one of the after parties. “And you my friend are going to get lucky tonight – how long has it been since you’ve had a shag anyway?” Nat asked her on the quiet with a mischievous grin.

Kate grinned ruefully back at her and shook her head. “So long I can’t even remember,” Kate admitted wryly – sure there’d been the odd guy here and there but none lately. She then thought briefly back to seven or eight years before when that had never been an issue for her. Before little Harry’s father had left her. Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind she vowed to enjoy the night and live in the here and now. She was tired of living in the past – even though she looked at a reminder of her past every day.

When they got to the party at a nearby hotel it was in full swing, jam packed with musicians and other celebrities. “What do you want to drink Kate? I’ve just noticed the view at the bar,” Nat quipped cheekily as Kate followed her friend’s gaze, her eyes coming to rest on a tall, handsome, dark haired young man, with sparkling brown eyes and an olive complexion.

As he laughed at something the guy next to him said she caught a flash of his pearly whites and thought to herself, he’s got a gorgeous smile. “Isn’t that Rick..” she began to say.

“Ramirez,” Nat finished for her with a grin . “Yep the one and only – he’s a hunk isn’t he?” she added in reference to the Latin heart throb singer as Kate had to agree.  “Wish me luck – red wine okay?” Nat added with a wink as Kate nodded with a laugh and wished her luck as she watched her friend saunter up to the bar.

 She watched as Nat spoke to Rick Ramirez for a few minutes and was a bit surprised when she came back not long after.

“How’d you go?” Kate asked as Nat handed her a glass of wine.

“Struck out I’m afraid,” she said with a sigh, then added with a twinkle in her eye which puzzled Kate a bit. “Seems he’s got his sights set elsewhere.”

“Oh really -  where?” Kate asked, not having a clue.

“On you,” Nat replied with a grin.

“On me?” Kate asked with surprise as Nat nodded.

“He recognised me as one of your back-up singers and then proceeded to ask me about you for the next 5 minutes,” Nat laughed as she rolled her eyes in jest and despite herself a little grin started to spread across Kate’s face. “He asked if I could introduce him to you,” Nat told her then added with a smile, “And here he comes now,” as they both looked up to see him working his way through the crowd, headed in their direction. 

“Oh God – how do I look?” Kate said hurriedly as she smoothed back her hair. “Are you kidding me Kate - in that dress honey you’re gonna knock him dead! As well as most of the guys in this place!” Nat laughed encouragingly then added with a grin, “Come on - you’re KK, Grammy winner remember! You could have any guy in this place and that one heading your way looks like a good one to have - I say go for it girl!”

As Rick made his way towards them his eyes never left Kate. The first time he’d seen the young Irish woman who was the lead singer for KK and the Beat being interviewed on tv and heard her sing he’d been intrigued and had been waiting for an opportunity such as this to make her acquaintance in person. He’d watched her perform with the band at the Grammy’s ceremony, admiring her in her signature black leather outfit as she owned the stage, the crowd going wild. Her stage presence was amazing he thought to himself – she exuded a cheeky confidence when she was on stage that he found very attractive. She certainly rocked hard, he’d thought and wondered mischievously if she played as hard. As he got closer to her he saw she’d changed into a little black dress that clung suggestively to her curves and an appreciative smile crossed his face.

 “Ladies,” he greeted Kate and her back up singer once he reached them, although his eyes were only on Kate.

“Rick Ramirez I’d like to you to meet Kate Kelly,” Nat introduced them as they smiled at each other.

“Pleased to meet you Kate,” Rick said in his Puerto Rican accent, flashing her a smile, as Kate looked at him thinking he was even more gorgeous close up.

“Pleased to meet you too Rick,” she replied with a smile of her own.

Nat watched the two of them with a sly grin thinking “my work here is done”, then she said “Oh look is that Mick Jagger over there? I’ll leave you two to get better acquainted hey? Have fun,” as she winked at Kate then disappeared into the crowd.

Kate and Rick looked at each other for a moment then Rick said with a smile, “Congratulations on your Grammy,” as she smiled gratefully at him.

“Thanks – same to you,” she replied. They chatted for a while then Rick said with a smile as he nodded towards the dance floor “Would you like to dance Kate?”

“I’d love to Rick,” she replied returning his smile as he took her hand in his and led her onto the dance floor, just as the song changed to a slow ballad.

As he looked at her intently he took her into his arms as they swayed together to the music. Kate had to admit he sure knew how to dance as he pulled her closer, his amber brown eyes never leaving her green ones as he moved sensuously against her. Without even thinking about it her arms encircled his neck as she began moving with him in time to the music.  She realised with more than a little surprise that he was stirring something in her that hadn’t been stirred for a very long time, not since.. “Stop it O’Casey,’ she rebuked herself silently. “Stop living in the past and comparing every guy to him – he left you remember? Left you pregnant and alone. Focus on the here and now,” as she proceeded to do just that. True, Rick wasn’t the first guy to enter her life in the past almost 7 years but he was the first one who’d made her feel like this.

As they danced, Rick began nibbling on her ear as she giggled a bit as his touch tickled her. He chuckled, his eyes twinkling at her as he dropped a hand from her waist to skim over her rear as she raised an eyebrow at him.

“I know we’ve only just met so forgive me if I’m being too forward. I’ll stop if you tell me to,” he murmured huskily, hoping she wouldn’t.

At that a cheeky grin crossed her face. “Oh I’ll tell you when I want you to stop – not yet,” she replied, as her hands started doing some exploring of their own. They lost track of time as they danced, totally absorbed in one another.

The way they were dancing was starting to have a marked effect on Rick which he knew Kate had felt as she looked at him with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

“Ah.. how about we get some fresh air?’ he suggested, not wanting to embarrass himself, as he nodded towards the doors leading out to the balcony.

“Sure,” Kate agreed with a grin as he put a hand on her waist and guided her through the crowd. They grabbed some drinks from a passing waiter as they leant against the balcony railing.

“So how long are you in LA for?’ Rick asked with a smile.

“Not long – I fly home to London tomorrow,” Kate replied.

Rick hesitated for a moment then asked, realising he knew very little about her personal life, “So is there someone back home in London waiting for you?” When she hesitated for a moment he started to worry a little.

Kate paused before answering - the guys she’d been involved with previously usually ran a mile once they found out she had a child, but she thought to herself, I’m done with trying to hide the fact. If he can’t deal with it then at least I got a dance out of him, she thought a little wryly.

“Yes there is actually,’ she confessed as Rick looked more than a little disappointed.  “My son,” she added as she gave him a meaningful look.

“Your son?” Rick asked with surprise as she nodded, expecting him to come up with some excuse to get out of there. Instead a relieved smile crossed his face. “I never knew you had a child – how old is he?” Rick asked as Kate looked at him, pleasantly surprised.

“He’s six,” she replied with a smile.

“Oh that’s a great age – my niece Isabella is six,” he stated. “You must have had him young,” he observed as she nodded.

“I was eighteen,” she confirmed.

“What’s his name?” Rick asked with a smile, genuinely interested, which touched Kate’s heart. “Harry,” she replied as he nodded.

He paused for a moment then asked “Ah so his Dad’s not on the scene?” Kate shook her head as he noticed a flicker of something – pain perhaps? – in her eyes.

“No he’s not – he left me before I found I was pregnant actually,” Kate stated ruefully.

“I’m sorry,” Rick stated as she gave him a questioning look. “Sorry he left you like that - that must have been tough, having a child on your own,” he went on sympathetically. “My older sister’s a single mum too – her ex left her with two kids a few years ago, so I kind of understand what you’ve had to deal with,” he explained as Kate gave him a grateful smile. 

“For purely selfish reasons though I’m not sorry he’s not in your life anymore,” Rick added as he gave her a meaningful look and moved a bit closer to her. “Now enough about him – I’d much prefer to focus on us,” he whispered as he gently tilted her face up to his and kissed her, softly at first, waiting for her reaction. When Kate responded to him Rick pulled her into his arms as they both gave in to the attraction they were feeling for each other.  When they finally had to pull away from each other to catch their breath, Rick whispered in her ear in Spanish “ _Quiero hacerte el amor_ ”, his accent doing something to Kate she couldn’t quite explain.

“Sorry you’re going to have to translate – I don’t speak Spanish,” she murmured huskily as she kissed him again, although she had a pretty good idea what it might mean. Rick pulled her against him, his mouth finding hers again as he murmured between kisses,

“It means I want to make love to you,” which his body was also telling her. “I’m staying at this hotel,” he added as he gave her a questioning look.

At that Kate grinned at him, thinking to herself, what the hell? About time you had some fun girl. “I thought you were never going to ask,” she laughed cheekily as he grinned back at her, taking her hand in his as they made a hasty departure from the party, their exit together not going unnoticed by Nat who smiled to herself.


	14. Chapter 14

Kate was glad they were alone in the elevator as they caught it up to the floor Rick’s room was on, as his mouth plundered hers and his hands were all over her and she responded in kind, their passion flaring between them. Engrossed in each other as they were, they barely heard the ding of the elevator as the doors opened on Rick’s floor. With a laugh they practically fell out of the elevator, both reluctant to let the other go. Somehow Rick managed to find his room key and get the door open as he pulled Kate inside with him, shrugging off his jacket as he did so.

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to the bedroom,” he confessed, his voice thick with passion as his need for her was overwhelming him – he wanted her and he wanted her now.

“Forget the bloody bedroom,” Kate replied with a laugh in between kisses as she felt the same way, as her hands found his belt buckle.

 “I like the way you think Kate,” he flashed a grin at her as he pushed her up against the nearest wall and urgently pulled her dress up, his hands caressing her as he made short work of her underwear. “Do we need something?” he managed to get out, almost as an after-thought, as Kate shook her head.

“No its okay – I’m on the pill.” She had gone on it not long after having Harry, not wanting to risk another unplanned pregnancy.

Kate went to unzip his pants and as Rick felt her hand on him he shoved his own pants and briefs down a little impatiently and grabbing her hips entered her. His tongue plunged into her mouth, mirroring the actions of the rest of his body as Kate held onto him, urging him on. As she moved with him Rick felt himself going over the edge as he muttered some phrases in Spanish that Kate had never heard before. He finally sagged against her trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry.. I just couldn’t help myself. You’re just so..,” he went to apologise as he lifted his head up to look at her.

“You don’t have to apologise Rick,” Kate stopped him with a kiss.

“But you didn’t ..?” he left the question open as she realised what he was getting at.

“Not quite,” she admitted “but that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it ,” she reassured him then added with a cheeky grin “Anyway I’m sure you’ll make it up to me.”

Rick grinned back at her then replied “Oh I’ll certainly do that,” as he kicked off his shoes & pants then picked her up as she laughed and he carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed.

He pulled his shirt off as well as her dress then he ran a hand up her leg as he covered her body with his. As he kissed her tenderly a smile crossed his face. “You are something else Kate Kelly,” he murmured huskily as she smiled at him.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she replied with a laugh. He slowly removed her bra, his eyes darkening with passion as he feasted his eyes on her as she did with him. As his hands & eyes travelled over her he noticed the three tattoos she had, thinking that was another thing they had in common. “Nice tatts,” he murmured with a grin as he kissed them.

“Thanks,” she replied as he continued to arouse her and she went to repay the favour, her hand travelling over his chest and stomach before travelling further down but he caught her hand in his.

“No you don’t,”’ he said in reply to her questioning look. “It’s your turn,” he added as he flashed her a grin and gave her a meaningful look.

“Well if you insist ,” Kate replied with a grin of her own.

“Oh I insist,” Rick replied as he trailed kisses over her body, not missing a spot as he arrived at his final destination. Since Harry, Kate had never let another man arouse her like that but somehow with Rick it felt right so she let go of her inhibitions and was very soon glad she had as he expertly brought her to the brink before finally taking her over the edge. Only then, as she lay trembling in his arms did he join his body with hers once again, this time drawing it out as he kissed her and made love to her with a tenderness that was as arousing as his initial urgency had been, this time the two of them hitting the peak together.

When they final drew apart Rick put an arm around her pulling her close to him. “That was amazing,” he confessed with a smile as Kate smiled back at him and said, “I have to agree with you on that point.”

“Well I have just had the honour of having my world rocked by KK,” Rick laughed as did Kate.

“Well I think I’ll be the envy of women the world over,” Kate replied with a grin as he chuckled and ran a hand through her hair.

“It’s nice to be with someone who understands that the image and the person are often two different things,” he confessed.

“Yes it is,” Kate agreed as she rested her head on his chest, and felt a warmth that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

When Kate awoke the next morning for a moment she thought she was in Harry’s (Senior) arms as she had awoken in them feeling safe & secure and extremely satisfied as she did now, so many times in the past. As she opened her eyes though she saw the arm draped over her had tattoos on it and the eyes in the face of the man in the bed next to her that slowly opened and looked at her with a mischievous twinkle, were brown not blue.

”Good morning,” Rick greeted her with a smile as Kate smiled back at him.

“Morning,” she replied as she planted a kiss on his lips.

Rick stretched and then laughed a little, ”My God woman what have you done to me, I can hardly move,” as Kate laughed a little cheekily and said “I know the feeling.”

With that Rick pulled her on top of him “And it was worth every aching muscle,” he grinned at her as he brushed a hair off her face.

“Hmmm,” Kate agreed as he gently pulled her face down to his. As they kissed Kate could feel his body responding to her. “Seems those aching muscles are working just fine - well one in particular,” Kate quipped with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as Rick smiled at her.

“Well you know what they say about aching muscles – the best thing to do is to keep using them,” he replied with a devilish grin as he ran a hand over one of her breasts.

“Oh they do, do they?” Kate laughed as he nodded.

As she went to kiss him again she momentarily saw the time on the bedside clock. It was almost nine o’clock. She muttered an expletive under her breath.

“What’s wrong?” Rick asked with concern.

“The time – it’s almost 9 o’clock – my flight leaves at 12:30 and I’ve still got to go back to my hotel and get my stuff and get to the airport,” she groaned as Rick looked disappointed.

With that a mischievous thought entered her head. “I guess I might have time for a quick bath though,” she said as she got out of the bed and walked towards the bathroom. “Care to join me?” she asked cheekily as Rick nodded, momentarily losing the power of speech as he took in the sight of her standing there wearing nothing but a cheeky grin.

“How big’s your tub?” she asked with a laugh.

“Big enough,” Rick replied with a grin and a meaningful look as he bounded out of the bed and chased her into the bathroom.

Once the tub was full they hopped in, Rick grinning at her as he slipped in after her. ”Hmm cosy,” he laughed as he pulled Kate towards him.

“Isn’t it?” she replied with a grin. With that he grabbed the soap and started running it over her body, his eyes never leaving hers. Kate closed her eyes for a moment and gave in to the feelings he was evoking in her, losing herself in the moment as Rick kissed her with a mix of passion & tenderness that she found very intoxicating.  She then grabbed the soap from him and ran it over his toned body as he had done to her as he sighed under her touch.  Knowing they didn’t have a lot of time and also sensing neither of them wanted to wait any longer Rick pulled her into his lap as she sank down on him.

“Kate..you are driving me crazy,” Rick murmured against her neck as Kate ran her hands through his hair and smiled at him.

“I know the feeling,” Kate admitted as they took each other over the edge one more time.

When they had got out of the bath and dressed, Rick took her into his arms. “I’ve had a great time Kate – thank you,” he stated with a grin.

“Me too and thank you,” Kate replied with a cheeky grin of her own.

“Sorry I’ve got to leave – I’d love to stay longer,” she admitted as Rick nodded.

“I’d love you to stay longer too but I understand – you’ve got a plane to catch and a little boy waiting for you at home,” he said which made Kate like him even more.

They exchanged numbers before she left. “If you’re ever in London give me a call,” Kate said with a smile as Rick nodded and grinned at her.“Oh I’ll definitely do that. Same for you if you’re ever in the States again”.

With that they shared a long, lingering goodbye kiss then Kate wished him a reluctant farewell. As Rick stood in the doorway watching her walk down the corridor to the elevator he decided as a broad smile crossed his face, that he wasn’t prepared to let her walk out of his life just yet..

When Kate got back to her hotel she was walking quickly back to her room when she bumped into Bill , KK and the Beat’s drummer. “Whoa Kate – what’s the rush? Hey weren’t you wearing that dress last night?” he asked with a grin. ”Are you just getting back now? Ooh someone had a good night huh?” he said as he winked at her and Kate gave him a somewhat embarrassed smile. “Ah yeah I saw you dancing at the after party with that Rick Ramirez  – oh my missus will be so jealous you hooked up with him. Oh she fancies him she does – him and that John Travolta,” Bill, who was the only one of the band who was married, laughed.

“Bill – I’d appreciate it if you don’t go spreading it round huh?” Kate replied as she gave him a meaningful look.

“Oh sure no problem,” he replied with a grin.

“Anyway I’ve got to finish packing - I’ll see you at the airport,” Kate replied hurriedly as she bade him farewell and headed for her room.

By some miracle she managed to get changed & finish packing and get to the airport just in time – she was the last one to board the private jet the band had chartered to fly them back to London. As she walked onto the plane her band mates clapped her and a couple of them wolf-whistled as she blushed a little but then found herself grinning. “Shut up you lot,” she laughed as she shot pretend filthy looks at both Nat and Bill who she gathered had told the rest of them about her night with Rick. 

“Oh now that’s the look of someone who’s had a very good shagging,” Ronnie the lead guitarist laughed as she walked past him to her seat and she playfully hit him.

She took her seat next to Nat who sat there looking expectantly at her. “Well?” Nat demanded, itching with curiosity.

“Well what?” Kate asked with pretend innocence as Nat groaned.

“Are you going to torture me Kate? I need details girl. How was he?” she asked her on the quiet as Kate couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face.

“He was good,” Kate stated non-committedly as Nat grinned at her.

“How good?” she persisted as a mischievous twinkle lit up Kate’s green eyes.

“Very good,” she admitted with a grin as Nat squealed. “Rub it in then – tell me – how many times?” she went on as Kate held up three fingers and giggled a bit at the look on Nat’s face.

“Okay – I hate you,” Nat joked as Kate laughed and quipped cheekily “Let’s just say I was making up for lost time”.

Then Nat whispered to her “Three times? My God girl it’s a wonder you can walk,” as the two of them dissolved into a fit of giggles again.

”So are you going to see him again?’ Nat asked as Kate sighed.

“Well we exchanged numbers but c’mon Nat we live on the opposite side of the world to each other, on different continents, so how often would we be able to see other? I mean realistically?”

Nat nodded. “I guess so - but it would be a good excuse to come to the States more often,” Nat pointed out with a grin.

At that Kate laughed a little ruefully. “As tempting as that sounds how would I manage that with Harry? ‘Sorry sweetie Mummy’s got to go to the States again this weekend to hook up with this cute guy I met after the Grammys’? Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time and our paths may cross again who knows, but I’m not going to pin my hopes on it, “Kate stated as Nat nodded understandingly. As the plane took off Kate stared out the window , wondering if she would ever see him again and hoping she would..

                                *******************************************


	15. Chapter 15

_Two weeks later.._

Kate was at home in London enjoying a Sunday morning with her son Harry when the phone rang. “Hello?” she answered it .

“Hi.. Kate? It’s Rick Ramirez..you know from LA,” she heard Rick’s voice on the other end. Upon hearing his voice a pleasantly surprised smile crossed her face. Although they had spent an amazing night and part of a morning together a couple of weeks before, she hadn’t really expected to hear from him again.

“Oh yes I remember you Rick,” she replied with a cheeky laugh as he chuckled as well. “How are you? How’s things in the States?” she then asked.  

“Actually I’m not in the States at the moment – I’m in London,” he informed her as her smile got a bit wider and he added hopefully, “You said to give you a call if I was ever in London so.. I’m giving you a call.”

 “Well you’re full of surprises aren’t you?” Kate laughed.

“In a good way I hope,” Rick stated with a laugh of his own.

“Oh definitely,” she replied.

“So ah.. since I’m in London I was wondering if you’d like to catch up for dinner or something?” Rick asked, hoping she’d say yes.

“That would be lovely Rick,” Kate replied then after thinking for a moment she said, “Would you like to come to my place and meet Harry?”

“That would be great,” Rick replied enthusiastically as Kate gave him her address and they made plans for him to come over that afternoon before bidding each other farewell. Kate hung up the phone with a smile on her face just as Harry came into the room.

“Who was on the phone Mummy?” he asked curiously.

“Ah.. that was a friend of mine sweetheart. Actually he’s coming over this afternoon for a visit – I think you’ll like him,” Kate replied with a smile, hoping that would be the case, as she affectionately ruffled her son’s hair.

Later that afternoon Kate heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it. A smile crossed her face as she took in the sight that greeted her – Rick stood there looking every bit as gorgeous as he had done two weeks earlier when they had made each other’s acquaintance in a very memorable fashion. He was dressed casually in jeans and a white shirt with a few buttons undone, his sunglasses on top of his head and a dazzling smile on his face. He was holding a bunch of red roses and a shopping bag.

“Hi Rick,” Kate greeted him once she found her voice.

“Hi Kate,” he replied as he gave her a peck on the cheek.

At that Kate grinned at him cheekily and said “You haven’t gone shy on me have you?” Rick grinned back at her as she pulled his head down to hers. “How about a proper hello kiss?” Kate murmured as her lips found his, both of them finding their strong attraction to each other still very much there.

When they finally drew apart, both with smiles on their faces, Kate asked, “So what brings you to London Rick?” His brown eyes twinkled at her as his smile lit up his face.

“You,” he stated simply as Kate looked a little surprised at first and then pleased. He then handed her the roses saying, “These are for you.” She thanked him with a smile as she took them then invited him in.

They went into the living room where little Harry was playing with some toy cars. “Harry,” Kate got his attention, “this is my friend I was telling you about, Rick Ramirez.”

Harry got up and looked at the man standing next to his mother. “Hi I’m Harry – nice to meet you Mr Ramirez,” Kate’s son said politely with a little lopsided grin.

Rick smiled at him, thinking to himself, he’s a cute little fella, and said, “So this is the man of the house hey?” as Harry beamed at him and shook his hand.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you too Harry – and please call me Rick,” he insisted as Harry nodded and said, “Okay.”

Rick then grinned at both Kate & Harry and said, “Now I have two important questions for you Harry,” as both Kate and Harry looked at him expectantly.

“The first is do you like football? And the second is do I have your permission to take your mum out to dinner?” Rick asked as he winked at Kate and she tried to stifle a grin.

Little Harry’s eyes lit up at the mention of football as he loved the game. “I love football!” he replied, his blue eyes twinkling with excitement and then added almost as an afterthought, “Oh yeah I guess that’s okay if you want to take my mum out to dinner,” as both Kate & Rick tried not to laugh.

“Well you know Harry I had a hunch that you might like football so I bought you this,” Rick announced as he handed Harry the shopping bag he was holding. Harry excitedly took it and looked inside as Kate smiled at Rick and mouthed “thankyou” to him, reflecting what a nice, considerate guy he was.

”Wow! A football?! Thanks Rick!!” Harry exclaimed excitedly as he took it out of the bag and began dribbling it with his feet.

“Hey you’ve got some skills there buddy,” Rick commented as Harry grinned at him.

“Can I go kick it around outside Mum?” Harry asked as Kate nodded with a smile and he picked up the ball and ran outside to the back yard.

“Well you sure won him over,” Kate remarked with a warm smile which Rick returned.

“I’m glad he liked it,” he replied then took Kate into his arms. “And what about his mum – have I won her over?” he asked, his eyes holding hers.

“Oh I think you did that a couple of weeks ago, “Kate replied cheekily as she linked her arms around his neck.

“Glad to hear it,” Rick replied as his lips found hers and they shared another kiss, only pulling away when Harry ran back into the room, both of them a little embarrassed.

“Were you two kissing?” Harry asked with a grin. “You get girl germs doing that you know,” he stated matter-of-factly to Rick as both he and Kate tried not to laugh.

“I’ll try and remember that buddy,” Rick replied as he grinned at Kate.

“So what do you fancy? For dinner I mean?” Kate asked a little cheekily as she gave Rick a meaningful glance and the look he gave her told her exactly what he fancied.

“Oh I’m easy – what’s good round here? Besides the obvious,” he quipped as he grinned mischievously at her, thinking two can play that game.

Trying to hide her own grin Kate replied, “Well there’s a nice little Italian down the road, or there’s Indian or Chinese? How hungry are you?” as she shot him another sultry look which had the intended effect.

“Oh I’m very hungry,” Rick replied, his eyes never leaving hers as his grin widened.

Oblivious to what his mother and Rick were really talking about Harry chimed in, “I want Italian – can we have pizza?”

Kate looked at Rick a little uncertainly, not sure if he wanted Harry tagging along. “Ah do you mind if Harry comes along? Otherwise I can always organise a baby sitter?”

“No not at all. We need a chaperone after all hey?” he replied with a smile as he winked at Harry who grinned back at him then asked, “What’s a chaperone?”

At that both Kate & Rick smiled, then Rick explained, “Well it’s someone who accompanies a man and a lady when they go our together to make sure the man behaves like a gentleman.”

At that Harry nodded and said, “Oh to make sure he doesn’t slurp his soup and stuff?” which Kate & Rick both laughed at.

“Something like that tiger,” Kate said as she affectionately ruffled his hair then said, “Now how about you go upstairs and change your shirt into a clean one before we go out huh?” Harry nodded then ran upstairs.

“Thanks Rick – I appreciate you letting me bring him along,” Kate said with a grateful smile.

“Don’t mention it – I want to get to know the both of you better Kate. He’s a great kid,” Rick replied genuinely. Kate nodded in agreement.

“He certainly is,” she said with a mixture of love and pride.

Rick hesitated for a moment then said, “I gather he looks like his dad?” as he didn’t look much like her.

Kate focused her gaze on the floor momentarily then replied with a somewhat rueful smile, “Yes he does.”

“How long were the two of you together for?’ Rick went on, curious to know what he was up against.

Kate felt a little uncomfortable - the last thing she felt like doing was dredging up the past and the painful memories it held, Instead she wanted to focus on the here and now. He noticed the expression that flickered across her face, although she tried to hide it, and he immediately regretted his question.

“Sorry if that’s getting too personal,” he apologised.

“No it’s okay – it’s just I’d rather leave the past where it belongs,” Kate replied. “We were together for about a year and a half I guess,” she went on as she pushed the memories out of her mind, hoping Rick wasn’t going to delve any further. Just then Harry came back downstairs after getting changed, stopping any further conversation on that topic which Kate was rather grateful for.

The three of them then headed out to dinner, enjoying a delicious meal together as they chatted and laughed. Kate couldn’t help but smile as she watched Rick joking around with Harry – she was glad they had hit it off. He was certainly different to some other guys she’d dated in the past who had been less than enthusiastic when they found out she had a son. But she was quickly learning that Rick Ramirez was not like other guys..

After dinner they headed back to her house. “Ok tiger, time for bed – go get your PJs on and brush your teeth,” Kate instructed Harry.

“Oh c’mon Mummy – I want to stay up and talk to Rick some more,” Harry protested.

“Hey c’mon buddy you gotta listen to your mom okay?” Rick told him as Kate looked at him gratefully, then he added with a grin, “Maybe we can kick that football around tomorrow hey?”.

“Okay,” Harry agreed as he went to get ready for bed. When he reappeared a short time later he asked, “Can both you & Rick tuck me into bed Mummy?” Kate looked questioningly at Rick.

“Sounds good to me Harry – how about I give you a piggy back?” Rick replied as he scooped him up onto his back as Harry cheered excitedly. Kate smiled happily as she followed them upstairs, amazed at how good Rick was with him.

“There you go buddy,” Rick said with a smile as he carefully set Harry down on his bed. “Now you have a good night’s sleep hey?” he added as Harry grinned, and then taking both Rick & Kate by surprise he suddenly gave Rick a hug.

“Night night Rick – I can’t wait to play football with you tomorrow,’” he said excitedly as Rick smiled at him and nodded.

“Me niether Harry,” he replied, which melted Kate’s heart even more. Rick then left Kate to tuck him into bed.

“I like Rick Mummy – he’s nice,” Harry stated as Kate tucked him into bed and planted a kiss on his head.

“Yes he is nice isn’t he?” she agreed with a smile then added, “Now straight off to sleep with you young man – it’s late and you’ve had a big day. Love you tiger.”

“Ok Mummy – I love you too,” Harry replied as he closed his eyes and Kate went back downstairs to where Rick sat in the living room waiting for her.

Kate poured them both a night cap and sat down on the lounge next to him. “So..” Rick said with a smile, a bit unsure of what to do next. Oh he knew what he wanted to do, what he’d wanted to do since he’d laid eyes on her that afternoon, but he was a bit uncertain if that’s what she wanted as well. After all, this wasn’t some wild Grammy’s after party, this was her home and her young son was sleeping upstairs.

“So..” Kate replied with a mischievous twinkle in her green eyes and throwing caution to the wind she grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him in for a kiss that took his breath away. Rick responded enthusiastically to her, remembering the passionate night they had shared together in LA, as the memories as well as what she was currently doing to him started to have a very obvious effect on his body. After they’d been kissing for a while, he very reluctantly pulled away from her a bit.

Kate looked at him, surprised. Had she been too forward? she suddenly worried. But then he had responded to her and she had felt his rather evident arousal pressing insistently against her, so what was the problem she wondered? “What’s up?” she asked, her eyes searching his., then she couldn’t help but cheekily echo his earlier words and added with a grin, “Besides the obvious.”

At that Rick chuckled softly at her cheekiness. “I ..um guess we better call it a night before I can’t stop myself,” he confessed as he tenderly traced her cheek and a rueful grin spread across his face.

With that Kate covered his hand with hers and said, “Who says you have to?”

At that Rick looked at her a bit surprised. “But what about Harry? He might ah ..hear us,” he replied a little awkwardly.

“Trust me, the minute his head hits the pillow he’s out like a light,” Kate reassured him with a smile.

“Well if you’re sure..,” Rick went to reply but Kate ran a hand over his chest which stopped him in his tracks.

“I’m very sure Rick. I don’t think you came half way round the world for just a few goodnight kisses did you?” she laughed as did Rick as he shook his head. “Now shut up and kiss me,” she added with a cheeky grin as he grinned back at her and proceeded to do just that.

As his hands started unbuttoning her top Kate breathed in his ear, “Let’s take this upstairs shall we?” as he nodded in agreement. She got up and took him by the hand, the two of then quietly going up the stairs, being careful not to wake Harry.

Once they were inside her bedroom behind closed doors Rick pulled Kate into his arms, their pent-up passion overflowing as they fell back onto the bed together.

“I’ve missed you,” Kate murmured into Rick’s ear as she nibbled on his earlobe which left him groaning. “Oh you like that huh? I better do it again then,” she said with a husky laugh.

“God I’ve missed you too babe – these past 2 weeks since we said goodbye in LA have been the longest two weeks of my life,” Rick confessed as he continued undressing her and Kate followed suit, unbuttoning his shirt and running a hand over his abs then lower, eliciting another groan from him. His hands mirrored hers as they continued to undress each other, savouring the feel of each other’s bodies again. When neither could stand anymore, Kate pulled Rick down to her as he covered her body with his, the two of them moving instinctively with each other until they hit the peak together. When they came back down to earth they shared a satisfied smile as Kate ran a hand through his hair and whispered with a laugh, “Welcome to London,” and Rick replied with a grin,”That was some welcome.”


	16. Chapter 16

_Two weeks later.._

Kate was at home in London enjoying a Sunday morning with her son Harry when the phone rang. “Hello?” she answered it .

“Hi.. Kate? It’s Rick Ramirez..you know from LA,” she heard Rick’s voice on the other end. Upon hearing his voice a pleasantly surprised smile crossed her face. Although they had spent an amazing night and part of a morning together a couple of weeks before, she hadn’t really expected to hear from him again.

“Oh yes I remember you Rick,” she replied with a cheeky laugh as he chuckled as well. “How are you? How’s things in the States?” she then asked.  

“Actually I’m not in the States at the moment – I’m in London,” he informed her as her smile got a bit wider and he added hopefully, “You said to give you a call if I was ever in London so.. I’m giving you a call.”

 “Well you’re full of surprises aren’t you?” Kate laughed.

“In a good way I hope,” Rick stated with a laugh of his own.

“Oh definitely,” she replied.

“So ah.. since I’m in London I was wondering if you’d like to catch up for dinner or something?” Rick asked, hoping she’d say yes.

“That would be lovely Rick,” Kate replied then after thinking for a moment she said, “Would you like to come to my place and meet Harry?”

“That would be great,” Rick replied enthusiastically as Kate gave him her address and they made plans for him to come over that afternoon before bidding each other farewell. Kate hung up the phone with a smile on her face just as Harry came into the room.

“Who was on the phone Mummy?” he asked curiously.

“Ah.. that was a friend of mine sweetheart. Actually he’s coming over this afternoon for a visit – I think you’ll like him,” Kate replied with a smile, hoping that would be the case, as she affectionately ruffled her son’s hair.

Later that afternoon Kate heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it. A smile crossed her face as she took in the sight that greeted her – Rick stood there looking every bit as gorgeous as he had done two weeks earlier when they had made each other’s acquaintance in a very memorable fashion. He was dressed casually in jeans and a white shirt with a few buttons undone, his sunglasses on top of his head and a dazzling smile on his face. He was holding a bunch of red roses and a shopping bag.

“Hi Rick,” Kate greeted him once she found her voice.

“Hi Kate,” he replied as he gave her a peck on the cheek.

At that Kate grinned at him cheekily and said “You haven’t gone shy on me have you?” Rick grinned back at her as she pulled his head down to hers. “How about a proper hello kiss?” Kate murmured as her lips found his, both of them finding their strong attraction to each other still very much there.

When they finally drew apart, both with smiles on their faces, Kate asked, “So what brings you to London Rick?” His brown eyes twinkled at her as his smile lit up his face.

“You,” he stated simply as Kate looked a little surprised at first and then pleased. He then handed her the roses saying, “These are for you.” She thanked him with a smile as she took them then invited him in.

They went into the living room where little Harry was playing with some toy cars. “Harry,” Kate got his attention, “this is my friend I was telling you about, Rick Ramirez.”

Harry got up and looked at the man standing next to his mother. “Hi I’m Harry – nice to meet you Mr Ramirez,” Kate’s son said politely with a little lopsided grin.

Rick smiled at him, thinking to himself, he’s a cute little fella, and said, “So this is the man of the house hey?” as Harry beamed at him and shook his hand.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you too Harry – and please call me Rick,” he insisted as Harry nodded and said, “Okay.”

Rick then grinned at both Kate & Harry and said, “Now I have two important questions for you Harry,” as both Kate and Harry looked at him expectantly.

“The first is do you like football? And the second is do I have your permission to take your mum out to dinner?” Rick asked as he winked at Kate and she tried to stifle a grin.

Little Harry’s eyes lit up at the mention of football as he loved the game. “I love football!” he replied, his blue eyes twinkling with excitement and then added almost as an afterthought, “Oh yeah I guess that’s okay if you want to take my mum out to dinner,” as both Kate & Rick tried not to laugh.

“Well you know Harry I had a hunch that you might like football so I bought you this,” Rick announced as he handed Harry the shopping bag he was holding. Harry excitedly took it and looked inside as Kate smiled at Rick and mouthed “thankyou” to him, reflecting what a nice, considerate guy he was.

”Wow! A football?! Thanks Rick!!” Harry exclaimed excitedly as he took it out of the bag and began dribbling it with his feet.

“Hey you’ve got some skills there buddy,” Rick commented as Harry grinned at him.

“Can I go kick it around outside Mum?” Harry asked as Kate nodded with a smile and he picked up the ball and ran outside to the back yard.

“Well you sure won him over,” Kate remarked with a warm smile which Rick returned.

“I’m glad he liked it,” he replied then took Kate into his arms. “And what about his mum – have I won her over?” he asked, his eyes holding hers.

“Oh I think you did that a couple of weeks ago, “Kate replied cheekily as she linked her arms around his neck.

“Glad to hear it,” Rick replied as his lips found hers and they shared another kiss, only pulling away when Harry ran back into the room, both of them a little embarrassed.

“Were you two kissing?” Harry asked with a grin. “You get girl germs doing that you know,” he stated matter-of-factly to Rick as both he and Kate tried not to laugh.

“I’ll try and remember that buddy,” Rick replied as he grinned at Kate.

“So what do you fancy? For dinner I mean?” Kate asked a little cheekily as she gave Rick a meaningful glance and the look he gave her told her exactly what he fancied.

“Oh I’m easy – what’s good round here? Besides the obvious,” he quipped as he grinned mischievously at her, thinking two can play that game.

Trying to hide her own grin Kate replied, “Well there’s a nice little Italian down the road, or there’s Indian or Chinese? How hungry are you?” as she shot him another sultry look which had the intended effect.

“Oh I’m very hungry,” Rick replied, his eyes never leaving hers as his grin widened.

Oblivious to what his mother and Rick were really talking about Harry chimed in, “I want Italian – can we have pizza?”

Kate looked at Rick a little uncertainly, not sure if he wanted Harry tagging along. “Ah do you mind if Harry comes along? Otherwise I can always organise a baby sitter?”

“No not at all. We need a chaperone after all hey?” he replied with a smile as he winked at Harry who grinned back at him then asked, “What’s a chaperone?”

At that both Kate & Rick smiled, then Rick explained, “Well it’s someone who accompanies a man and a lady when they go our together to make sure the man behaves like a gentleman.”

At that Harry nodded and said, “Oh to make sure he doesn’t slurp his soup and stuff?” which Kate & Rick both laughed at.

“Something like that tiger,” Kate said as she affectionately ruffled his hair then said, “Now how about you go upstairs and change your shirt into a clean one before we go out huh?” Harry nodded then ran upstairs.

“Thanks Rick – I appreciate you letting me bring him along,” Kate said with a grateful smile.

“Don’t mention it – I want to get to know the both of you better Kate. He’s a great kid,” Rick replied genuinely. Kate nodded in agreement.

“He certainly is,” she said with a mixture of love and pride.

Rick hesitated for a moment then said, “I gather he looks like his dad?” as he didn’t look much like her.

Kate focused her gaze on the floor momentarily then replied with a somewhat rueful smile, “Yes he does.”

“How long were the two of you together for?’ Rick went on, curious to know what he was up against.

Kate felt a little uncomfortable - the last thing she felt like doing was dredging up the past and the painful memories it held, Instead she wanted to focus on the here and now. He noticed the expression that flickered across her face, although she tried to hide it, and he immediately regretted his question.

“Sorry if that’s getting too personal,” he apologised.

“No it’s okay – it’s just I’d rather leave the past where it belongs,” Kate replied. “We were together for about a year and a half I guess,” she went on as she pushed the memories out of her mind, hoping Rick wasn’t going to delve any further. Just then Harry came back downstairs after getting changed, stopping any further conversation on that topic which Kate was rather grateful for.

The three of them then headed out to dinner, enjoying a delicious meal together as they chatted and laughed. Kate couldn’t help but smile as she watched Rick joking around with Harry – she was glad they had hit it off. He was certainly different to some other guys she’d dated in the past who had been less than enthusiastic when they found out she had a son. But she was quickly learning that Rick Ramirez was not like other guys..

After dinner they headed back to her house. “Ok tiger, time for bed – go get your PJs on and brush your teeth,” Kate instructed Harry.

“Oh c’mon Mummy – I want to stay up and talk to Rick some more,” Harry protested.

“Hey c’mon buddy you gotta listen to your mom okay?” Rick told him as Kate looked at him gratefully, then he added with a grin, “Maybe we can kick that football around tomorrow hey?”.

“Okay,” Harry agreed as he went to get ready for bed. When he reappeared a short time later he asked, “Can both you & Rick tuck me into bed Mummy?” Kate looked questioningly at Rick.

“Sounds good to me Harry – how about I give you a piggy back?” Rick replied as he scooped him up onto his back as Harry cheered excitedly. Kate smiled happily as she followed them upstairs, amazed at how good Rick was with him.

“There you go buddy,” Rick said with a smile as he carefully set Harry down on his bed. “Now you have a good night’s sleep hey?” he added as Harry grinned, and then taking both Rick & Kate by surprise he suddenly gave Rick a hug.

“Night night Rick – I can’t wait to play football with you tomorrow,’” he said excitedly as Rick smiled at him and nodded.

“Me niether Harry,” he replied, which melted Kate’s heart even more. Rick then left Kate to tuck him into bed.

“I like Rick Mummy – he’s nice,” Harry stated as Kate tucked him into bed and planted a kiss on his head.

“Yes he is nice isn’t he?” she agreed with a smile then added, “Now straight off to sleep with you young man – it’s late and you’ve had a big day. Love you tiger.”

“Ok Mummy – I love you too,” Harry replied as he closed his eyes and Kate went back downstairs to where Rick sat in the living room waiting for her.

Kate poured them both a night cap and sat down on the lounge next to him. “So..” Rick said with a smile, a bit unsure of what to do next. Oh he knew what he wanted to do, what he’d wanted to do since he’d laid eyes on her that afternoon, but he was a bit uncertain if that’s what she wanted as well. After all, this wasn’t some wild Grammy’s after party, this was her home and her young son was sleeping upstairs.

“So..” Kate replied with a mischievous twinkle in her green eyes and throwing caution to the wind she grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him in for a kiss that took his breath away. Rick responded enthusiastically to her, remembering the passionate night they had shared together in LA, as the memories as well as what she was currently doing to him started to have a very obvious effect on his body. After they’d been kissing for a while, he very reluctantly pulled away from her a bit.

Kate looked at him, surprised. Had she been too forward? she suddenly worried. But then he had responded to her and she had felt his rather evident arousal pressing insistently against her, so what was the problem she wondered? “What’s up?” she asked, her eyes searching his., then she couldn’t help but cheekily echo his earlier words and added with a grin, “Besides the obvious.”

At that Rick chuckled softly at her cheekiness. “I ..um guess we better call it a night before I can’t stop myself,” he confessed as he tenderly traced her cheek and a rueful grin spread across his face.

With that Kate covered his hand with hers and said, “Who says you have to?”

At that Rick looked at her a bit surprised. “But what about Harry? He might ah ..hear us,” he replied a little awkwardly.

“Trust me, the minute his head hits the pillow he’s out like a light,” Kate reassured him with a smile.

“Well if you’re sure..,” Rick went to reply but Kate ran a hand over his chest which stopped him in his tracks.

“I’m very sure Rick. I don’t think you came half way round the world for just a few goodnight kisses did you?” she laughed as did Rick as he shook his head. “Now shut up and kiss me,” she added with a cheeky grin as he grinned back at her and proceeded to do just that.

As his hands started unbuttoning her top Kate breathed in his ear, “Let’s take this upstairs shall we?” as he nodded in agreement. She got up and took him by the hand, the two of then quietly going up the stairs, being careful not to wake Harry.

Once they were inside her bedroom behind closed doors Rick pulled Kate into his arms, their pent-up passion overflowing as they fell back onto the bed together.

“I’ve missed you,” Kate murmured into Rick’s ear as she nibbled on his earlobe which left him groaning. “Oh you like that huh? I better do it again then,” she said with a husky laugh.

“God I’ve missed you too babe – these past 2 weeks since we said goodbye in LA have been the longest two weeks of my life,” Rick confessed as he continued undressing her and Kate followed suit, unbuttoning his shirt and running a hand over his abs then lower, eliciting another groan from him. His hands mirrored hers as they continued to undress each other, savouring the feel of each other’s bodies again. When neither could stand anymore, Kate pulled Rick down to her as he covered her body with his, the two of them moving instinctively with each other until they hit the peak together. When they came back down to earth they shared a satisfied smile as Kate ran a hand through his hair and whispered with a laugh, “Welcome to London,” and Rick replied with a grin,”That was some welcome.”


	17. Chapter 17

_A few months later.._

Kate and Rick were on their way out to dinner with Harry being babysat when Kate realised she hadn’t grabbed a jacket. “I’ll grab one for you if you like,” Rick offered as Kate thanked him as she went to get her car out of the garage. He went up to her bedroom and opened her cupboard, looking for a jacket to grab for her. As he moved clothes aside to find one he noticed a Rolling Stones t-shirt hanging in there that looked miles too big for Kate – and then it hit him. It must have belonged to her ex- boyfriend, Harry’s father. “What the hell has she still got that for?” he muttered under his breath as he shook his head. He grabbed a jacket for her then went back downstairs trying to control his anger and dismiss the sudden seed of doubt that had just formed in his head.

Kate was a bit perplexed by the look on Rick’s face when he came out of the house and got into the car and handed her the jacket without saying a word. “Thanks,” she said as he looked out the car window and replied a little stiffly, “Don’t mention it.”, which Kate found rather odd.

During dinner Rick was still uncharacteristically quiet. “You’re quiet tonight,” Kate commented, wondering what had put him in such a strange mood. She had never seen him like this before.

“Am I?” he replied a little abruptly as she looked at him.

“Rick what’s going on?” she asked as he shook his head a little ruefully.

“I should be asking you that Kate,” he threw at her. At Kate’s surprised look he blew out a breath and asked, “Why do you still have your ex’s old t-shirt hanging up in your cupboard?”

Kate was momentarily taken aback by his question. Even though it had been seven years since Harry’s father had left she hadn’t been able to bring herself to get rid of the t-shirt. She had moved twice from the little bedsitter flat Miles had first set her up in, where her and Harry senior had practically lived together up until the morning he left her, but each time she’d packed up her stuff she had always included the t-shirt. In some ways it was all she had left of him, well apart from his son that was. She remembered when he had first left she had worn it to bed every night for two weeks straight, because it still smelt like him. As she had inhaled the unique scent of him as she cried herself to sleep, she’d been able to almost convince herself that he hadn’t gone, that he was still there right next to her, where he belonged, where she needed him to be. She knew it was silly and sentimental to keep it and now it had come back to bite her.

“I don’t know.. I guess I just never got around to tossing it out,” she replied hurriedly. Rick looked at her, not knowing quite whether to believe her or not. “Not that it’s any of your business,” she snapped a little, going on the defensive.

At that Rick looked at her, his brown eyes flashing with a mixture of disbelief & anger. “Well it is now! I’m the man in your life Kate, well at least I thought I was, but I’m getting the feeling I’m not the only one,” he retorted as Kate’s expression mirrored his.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

“I think you know Kate – look me in the eye and tell me you’re over him,” Rick challenged her. Kate hesitated for a moment as she suspected, deep down that he was right and she couldn’t honestly say she was over Harry’s father, but she wasn’t willing to admit it. Instead she got up abruptly from her seat, throwing her napkin down on the table.

“I don’t have to listen to this,” she threw at him furiously as she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the restaurant.

“Kate! Come back here!” Rick yelled as he quickly threw some money down on the table to pay for their meal, then ran out after her, suddenly realising how much he’d upset her.

Refusing to turn around and look at him, she stalked down the street to her waiting car.

Rick caught up to her as she went to open the door. “Kat.. baby.. wait. I’m sorry,” he said, his tone softer as he gently grabbed her arm. Kate focused her gaze on the ground, fighting back her tears. “Look at me mi amor,” he pleaded with her and the tears he saw in her eyes when she did so caused a wave of guilt to wash over him. He reached up a hand to tenderly wipe away her tears.

“It’s just a stupid t-shirt Rick – I’ll get rid of it if it means that much to you,” Kate stated as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

At that Rick hugged her to him murmuring into her hair, “Let’s not fight about a silly t-shirt huh? C’mon – I’m sorry.”

She nodded against his chest, her conflicting emotions whirling inside her. She knew she was starting to fall in love with Rick but rather than that making her happy like it should, it scared the hell out of her. She still struggled with the demons of her past - not willing to trust the depth of Rick’s feelings for her or hers for him because of what had happened to her before. Her younger, naïve self had thought that love would conquer all and that she and Harry Senior would always be together. Until that fateful morning she had awoken to find him gone and her dreams shattered. He’d left her and their child alone. Part of her told her that Rick was a totally different guy and he seemed to be crazy about her and her son and that he would never do that to her, to them. But then the other part of her, the scared, somewhat jaded part worried that it would only go the same way and not only her heart would be broken again but also little Harry’s as she knew he adored Rick.

As if sensing her hesitation Rick tenderly lifted her chin up to face him, ”I don’t want to fight Kat,” he reassured her as his brown eyes held hers captive.

“Neither do I,” Kate confessed, deciding for the moment at least to put her fears aside.

“Let’s go home,” he said as he gave her a meaningful look. She nodded and he took the car keys out of her hand and opened the car door for her. As they got into the car and drove off, totally focused on each other as they had been, neither of them noticed the photographer who had followed them from the restaurant..

When they got back to Kate’s place the nanny greeted them as they came in the door. “Harry’s been in bed for a few hours,” she informed Kate with a smile as Kate thanked her and she bade Kate and Rick goodnight. Kate saw her out the door then turned to go upstairs.

As she walked past Rick he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. “Where do you think you’re going?” he said with a grin.

“I’m going to bed,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“Damn right you are,” he replied somewhat forcefully as Kate looked at him a little surprised as he claimed her mouth with his in a searing kiss that shook her to her very core. He then scooped her up into his arms and proceeded to carry her up the stairs.

“Rick – what are you doing?” Kate laughed, surprised but also aroused by his ‘take charge’ approach.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m taking my woman to bed,” he stated with a grin as he carried her into her bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them.

“Well okay then,” Kate stated with a grin of her own. He laid her down on the bed then stood up just long enough to rip his shirt off as Kate cast an appreciative gaze over his toned body.

“I’m going to make you mine tonight,” he told her with a promising look, determined to banish any thoughts of her ex from her mind. Kate looked at him a little gobsmacked, not really knowing what to say.

“This has got to be a first – Kate Kelly with nothing to say?” he teased her with a chuckle as she went to throw a pillow at him but he caught her hands in his and held them above her head. Kate initially wriggled against his strong hand, trying to break free but he murmured huskily in her ear, “Relax mi amor,”, knowing full well the effect it had on her when he spoke in Spanish.

“Are you trying to make it hard for me?” Kate laughed. At that Rick grinned at her devillishly, flashing his pearly whites and quipped, “Well I know you like it like that” as she grinned back at him. He then covered her body with his, his mouth ravaging hers and his lower half moving against her in a similar fashion, as she responded to him in kind, wondering a little what had got into him. She didn’t have much chance to ponder it though as she was soon wrapped up in the sensual onslaught he was unleashing on her body.

As his kisses trailed down her neck and his hand ran along her hip a moan involuntarily escaped her lips. Not being able to help himself, Rick gently nipped the side of her neck, leaving his mark on her as he began undressing her.

“You’re driving me crazy here Rick – I want to touch you,” Kate confessed between kisses.

“I know,” he quipped mischievously. “All in good time Kat – I’m not finished with you yet – not by a long shot,” he added with a promising look as his brown eyes twinkled at her and he started planting kisses all over her body. He eventually released her hands and she ran one over his chest and then over the tattoo on his left arm before tracing a trail down his stomach to his belt buckle.

Rick however caught her hand in his “No you don’t woman,” he said, his eyes holding hers captive as he kissed her again and his hand followed a similar path to what hers had done on him, leaving her trembling with need as he reached his final destination, where she needed him the most.

“Rick..” Kate whispered his name, needing more of him.

“What do you want mi amor?” he whispered in her ear, enjoying driving her crazy a little.

“I want you,” she replied, running her hands through his hair and pulling him closer to her. That was all he needed to hear as he quickly removed the rest of his clothes and gave her what she wanted, what he wanted. And as she called his name as she went over the edge a satisfied smile crossed his face as he quickly followed her, confident that he was indeed the man she wanted, the man she needed.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Rick popped over to Kate’s place late in the afternoon, looking forward to spending some time with her as well as little Harry. In the time he and Kate had been dating, going on for 6 months,  he’d grown as fond of her six year old son as he was of her. He was a cute little tyke – funny and smart as  a tack and with a certain cheeky charm, Rick thought to himself with a smile as he rang the doorbell. Kate’s housekeeper Betty answered the door and greeted him warmly, “Come in Mr Ramirez,” as she showed him into the living room where he found little Harry watching tv.

“Hi champ,” Rick greeted him with a smile as he gave Harry a high five. “Where’s your Mum?”

“She’s upstairs talking to Uncle Miles,” Harry replied as he went back to watching tv. Rick nodded and sat down on the lounge next to him. “So whatcha watching?” he asked.

“I dunno,” Harry replied non-committedly as Rick looked at him, thinking he seemed a little out of sorts.

“Ok. Well what did you do at school today?” he tried another attempt to engage the boy in conversation.

“Nuffin,” Harry replied and Rick noticed a slightly upset look momentarily cross his face.

“Okay,” Rick replied slowly, wondering what was up with him as he certainly wasn’t his usual happy self. “Well how about we go outside and kick your football around for a bit hey?” Rick asked, knowing that was one of Harry’s favourite things to do.

“No thanks,” Harry replied as he looked down at the floor.

“Okay now I know something’s up Harry. What’s going on buddy?” Rick asked gently as Harry remained silent, avoiding Rick’s gaze. “Did something happen at school?” Rick asked perceptively. Harry hesitated for a moment then nodded. “Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked as he waited patiently for Harry’s response.

When Harry finally looked up at Rick there were tears in his blue eyes. “Some boys at school were being mean to me today ‘cause I don’t have a daddy. They called me a naughty word – the ‘B’ word,” Harry blurted out as his tears fell.

Rick sighed, a wave of protectiveness for Kate’s son washing over him. “Oh come here buddy – it’s okay,” he comforted him as he gave him a hug. “Don’t you worry about those other boys or what they said. They’re just bullies. Trust me I know how that feels,” he said as he shook his head a little ruefully.

“You do?” Harry asked with some amazement. “But who would pick on you? You’re tall and you’ve got muscles,” Harry stated as Rick laughed.

“Well I didn’t always look like this Harry – when I was a kid, until I hit my teenage years at least, I was a scrawny little thing. Plus I sang in the school choir – I got called a sissy and all sorts of things. Yeah I had my fair share of getting picked on by bullies,” he told Harry.

“What did you do? Harry asked as he looked up at him.

“Well I must admit I cried a little bit too but I’ll tell you Harry what my papa told me – he put me on his knee and he said ‘Enrique, you are a better person than those bullies will ever be. The best defence is just to ignore them – show them they’re not getting to you. And if that doesn’t work, bop ‘em on the nose’,” Rick laughed with a warm smile as he affectionately ruffled Harry’s thick black hair.

At that a small smile crossed Harry’s face as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. He hesitated for a moment then looked intently at Rick and asked hopefully, “Are you going to be my daddy Rick?”

At that a smile crossed Rick’s face. “Well I’d like to Harry – but that’s really up to your mum,” he replied as Harry looked at him seriously. 

“Well I’ll tell her I want you to be my daddy – she’ll listen to me,” he stated confidently as Rick laughed.

“Well let’s hope so hey little man?” Rick said as he winked at him.

A short while later Kate came downstairs with her manager Miles after going over some things with him. “Oh hi babe,” she greeted Rick with a kiss and a smile and Miles also greeted him before going on his way.

After the three of them had dinner and Kate had put Harry to bed she came and sat down on the lounge next to Rick as they opened a bottle of wine.

“Did Harry tell you about what happened at school?” Rick asked as Kate looked at him curiously and shook her head.

“No – he’d just got home from school when Miles popped by so I didn’t get much of a chance to ask him about his day unfortunately. Why?” Kate asked as she sipped her wine. Rick then told her what Harry had told him as a look of both concern and anger crossed her face.

“Why those little buggers! When I get my hands on them..” she said between gritted teeth, her protective maternal instincts coming to the fore.

“Relax Kate. I think he’ll be okay without his mom fighting his battles for him,” Rick reassured her.

“He’s only six Rick – it’s my job to fight his battles for him at his age!” Kate retorted as Rick smiled at her. “Maybe so but it’s important for a boy to learn to stand on his own two feet as well. I gave him a bit of advice which hopefully will help him,” he told her as he brushed a stray hair off her face.

“Thank you,” Kate stated sincerely. “You’re really good with him you know,” she added with a smile, knowing how fond her son had become of him. And while she was glad they got on so well together there was also a part of her that was worried that Harry was becoming too attached to him. That niggling little voice of doubt in her head that said “And what if Rick leaves you like Harry’s dad did? Then it won’t be just your heart broken.”

Rick thanked her with a smile of his own and said, “Well it’s not hard with him – he’s a great kid Kate.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And you’re doing a great job raising him Kate. But a boy needs a father. In fact, he asked me this afternoon if I was going to be his daddy.”

Kate looked at him somewhat in shock. “And what did you say?” she asked a little warily.

“I told him I’d like to be but that it was really up to you,” Rick replied honestly, his eyes searching hers.

Kate looked down at the floor for a moment before replying. “He has a father Rick,” she stated quietly when she finally looked back up at him, which felt to Rick like a sword through his heart.

His hurt turned to anger as he looked at her in disbelief. “And where is he Kate? He might be his biological father but your son needs a real father – someone who’ll be there for him.  He left you and Harry..” he went to argue but she cut him off, her anger rising to meet his.

“He didn’t know about Harry,” she pointed out as Rick shook his head.

“That’s not the point Kate! He left you didn’t he? What – are you waiting for him to come waltzing in that door one day? Well it’s not going to happen!” he threw at her.

At the hurt look that crossed Kate’s face, Rick regretted his harsh words somewhat. “Look Kate – I’m here, he’s not. And I want to be here for you and Harry,” he pleaded with her, his tone softer. When she didn’t immediately reply he gently took her face in his hands and said, ”I love you Kate – and I love Harry too, as if he were my own son.”

Kate knew deep down that she loved him too, but she was scared to admit it, scared of having her heart broken again.

“Rick.. I ..,” she went to reply, searching for the right words.

“You can’t say it can you? You’ve never said it back to me,” Rick retorted, his hurt showing.

“Rick you know how I feel about you,” Kate replied as she went to kiss him but he held her off.

“No I don’t Kate, not really -  you’ll let me into your bed, but not into your heart. I need more than that Kate,” he stated as he looked at her, his gaze intense.

At that Kate stood up and walked a few steps away, putting some distance between them. “The last person I said that to left me,” she voiced her pain & fear, her voice choked with emotion. 

“And I’m not him!” Rick stated emphatically. The two of them fell into an uncomfortable silence for a moment or two, Rick running a hand over his face as he felt tears springing to his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore Kate – I can’t compete with a memory,” he finally said, his voice flat, as he shook his head.

At that Kate looked at him, wondering what he was saying as she fought back her own tears, hating the fact that she’d hurt him but being too scared to admit her true feelings and lay her heart on the line again. “What are you saying Rick?” she asked, her voice quiet, although she already knew.

Rick looked at her - part of him thinking, to hell with it and just wanting to kiss her and hold her again, but the other more rational part of him thinking, it’s never gonna work while she still hasn’t let go of her ex. “I think we both know what I’m saying mi amor,” he said in a defeated tone, and the sadness in his eyes was more than Kate could bear as she focused her gaze on the floor.

“I’m sorry Rick,” was all she could say as she looked at him through tear filled eyes.

He nodded, trying to swallow the lump in his throat as a bitter sweet smile crossed his face. “So am I,” he whispered as he stepped towards her and planted a kiss on her forehead then turned to leave. Before he got to the door he stopped for a moment and turned to look at her and for a fleeting moment she thought he’d changed his mind.

“I’d ah.. like to say goodbye to Harry if that’s okay,” he said as Kate paused for a moment, wondering if that would be a good idea or not – she knew Harry was going to be devastated but then she figured she owed it to both of them to be able to say a proper goodbye to each other. She nodded, fighting back her tears as Rick thanked her then said, “I’ll come round in the morning then and talk to him – I’d rather he hears it from me.”

He paused then said quietly “I’ll let myself out,” as Kate watched him go. As she heard the front door close behind him she sunk down on the lounge, her tears flowing freely as she wondered what she’d done…

                                *******************************************

The next morning Harry was a little surprised to find his mother alone when he came down for breakfast. “Where’s Rick Mummy?” he asked as he started eating his cereal. “Didn’t you have a sleepover with him last night?’ he asked innocently as Kate hesitated for a moment, wondering how to answer him.

“Ah..no we didn’t sweetheart. He had some things to do. But he’s coming over this morning,” she replied a little hurriedly as she busied herself getting her own breakfast, trying to fight back her tears.

Not long after they’d finished breakfast and got dressed they heard the doorbell ring.Kate went and opened it to find Rick standing there, looking like he’d had as little sleep as she had, both of them not really knowing what to say.

“Hi,” Kate greeted him quietly, a war going on inside her head & heart. Part of her wanted to apologise and tell him she loved him, but another part of her, borne out of pain & fear, silenced that part, not willing to risk her heart again.

Rick too had his own conflicting emotions as he stood there looking at her. From the moment he’d met Kate, from the first night they’d spent together, he knew he’d found someone very special. He’d never felt for another woman what he felt for her and he doubted he would again.  But what she’d said to him the night before had confirmed what he had always suspected but had tried to ignore – the fact that she wasn’t over her first love, her son’s father, and that until she was he was always going to be second best. A wave of hurt & anger washed over him as he thought to himself what he’d do to that guy if he ever met him – the bastard who had, albeit unknowingly, left her pregnant & alone, breaking her heart so much in the process that she had closed it off to anyone else.

Kate had never told him his name - all he knew was that they’d been each other’s first love and he’d left her one morning with just a note. The guy wasn’t even man enough to say goodbye to her to her face, Rick thought to himself. He assumed little Harry looked like his father as he didn’t look that much like Kate - another reminder of him that she looked at every day. The nameless guy who he’d had enough of trying to compete with.

“Hi,” he replied just as awkwardly as she let him in.

As he came inside Harry came barrelling down the hallway. “Rick!” he exclaimed happily as he ran up to him. Rick forced a smile onto his face as he crouched down to his level.

“Hey buddy – how you doing?” he greeted him.

“I’m good Rick. Do you wanna play football?” he asked with his cute little lopsided grin.

“Oh maybe later Harry – actually I was wondering if we could have a little talk?’ Rick replied as he shared a look with Kate.

“Sure Rick,” Harry replied as Rick got up and the two of them went out the back to the yard, sitting on a swing each.

Rick looked down at the ground for a moment trying to find the right words to tell him he was leaving. “What do you want to talk about Rick? Did you tell Mummy you want to be my Daddy?” Harry asked, his blue eyes lit up with excitement as Rick swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Actually I did Harry but..” he went to reply.

“But what?” Harry asked, sensing that something was wrong, displaying a wisdom & perception beyond his young years.

Rick sighed and looked at the young boy who he would have loved to have been a father to. “I’m sorry but that’s not going to happen buddy,” he stated gently as Harry looked both upset and confused.

“Why?” he asked.

Rick hesitated then said, trying to soften the blow, “I have to go back to America.”

“Are you coming back?” Harry asked, his voice trembling a little as tears sprang to his eyes.

Rick shook his head. “No I don’t think so Harry,” he replied, his gaze focused on the ground.

“But why not? Don’t you love my Mummy and me?” Harry demanded as Rick tried to fight back a few tears of his own.

“I love the both of you very much but..sometimes grown ups decide it’s best to go our separate ways,” he tried to explain, choking up a bit as he did so. “Your mom and I had a chat last night and we think this is for the best,” he added, trying to convince Harry as much as himself.

“Well I don’t!” Harry yelled angrily as he jumped off the swing. “I thought you were going to be my daddy Rick!” he stated accusingly.

“Well that’s not really up to me Harry,” Rick replied then added, “Look I know this is hard for you to understand Harry, but I want you to know that I wish this wasn’t the way it has to be but unfortunately it is. “

Harry looked at him, his tears freely flowing from his big blue eyes as Rick stood up. “No I don’t want you to go!” Harry cried as he flung his arms around Rick’s waist. “Who’s gonna kick the football around with me and do fun stuff like that?” he asked.

Rick affectionately ruffled the young boy’s hair. “Well maybe your Uncle Miles can play with you,” he replied but Harry shook his head and said, “Uncle Miles doesn’t like football.”

At that Rick sighed as he crouched down to be at his level again. “Harry – I know this isn’t easy, for any of us. But I need you to be a brave little man hey? I need you to look after your mom for me okay?” he said as he gently held Harry by the arms, looking into his eyes. Harry silently nodded as Rick hugged him and whispered into his hair, “You be good for your mamma hey? I know you will,” as he roughly wiped away some tears himself so Harry wouldn’t see them.

“Are we ever going to see each other again Rick?” Harry asked as he sniffled a bit, trying to be brave. At that Rick cast a glance towards the kitchen window where Kate stood watching them, trying to fight back her own tears. “I don’t know buddy,” he replied honestly. He then hugged him one last time then let him go.

With that Harry ran inside, tears streaming down his face. “Harry sweetheart..” Kate went to grab him as he ran past her but he angrily pushed her away.

“Why are you making Rick go away?” he yelled at her. “What did you say to him last night? Can’t you just say you’re sorry so he’ll stay?” he asked desperately as she ran a hand through her hair.

“Harry I’m sorry but I think this is for the best,” she tried to make him understand.

“Well it’s not!” he threw back at her, his blue eyes boring into her, reminding her so much of his father when they used to fight.

“Harry please.. I know this is hard for you. I know you like Rick and he likes you but..” Kate pleaded with him as she tried to pull him into her arms to comfort him but he was having none of it.

“Leave me alone!” he shouted angrily at her as he squirmed out of her arms and ran upstairs to his bedroom.

At that Kate burst into tears herself, feeling like the worst mother in the world, just as Rick came in the back door.

“Kate.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset him,” he stated, feeling guilty. Kate shook her head and tried to compose herself.

“No it’s my fault – he has every right to be angry at me. But we’ll work it out,” she tried to reassure him and herself.

Rick nodded silently, not really knowing what to say. “Well I guess I better go then,” he stated awkwardly.

Kate looked at him, her green eyes filled with tears, seeming even greener. “Yes I guess you better,” she said quietly. With that she unfastened the gold bracelet on her wrist which Rick had given to her a few months before, and handed it to him. “I should give this back to you – I wouldn’t feel right keeping it,” she stated, her voice a choked whisper, and as their fingers brushed she closed her eyes momentarily to shut out the pain. Rick stared at the bracelet in his hand for a moment, realising what that action signified – it felt like she was handing his heart back to him, the finality of it crushing him. He couldn’t bare to look at her so he just focused his gaze on the floor, afraid if he spoke, his voice would betray the strength of the emotions he was feeling.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rick swallowed the lump in his throat and found his voice. “Take care Kate – of both of you,.”.

“I will – you too,” she replied, both of them knowing it was the end but not really knowing how to say goodbye. Rick took one last look at her then stepped toward her and planted a kiss on her head, fighting back his tears.

“Just go Rick – please just go,” Kate whispered, her voice cracking with emotion as he nodded and did as she asked, walking out of the door and out of her life…


End file.
